31Ways2GetItStarted™!: January 5, 2013

Day 5: Commit to This Change

So, if you've read even one of my previous blog postings, you'll know that in general, it's easier for me to commit to my wonderful/adorable/delicious local Mexican food truck that it is to any one man. (But, I'm really at peace with that since I feel good about me & the food truck and where we're going: we have the same values...we're going to make it! I've ordered from that truck, hung over and twitching at 5am and they take care of me. Meanwhile, for f**k's sake, I've dated men who after the first weekend together, are like, "Baby, when you gonna get rid of these stinky cats, huh? You don't need them; now you got me!" I "got" you, hmm? Ima throw you back and while you're on your way out, b*tch, remember that men come and go, but the cats remain! #catsruleboysdrool) On the other hand, should Idris Elba be reading this...I feel strongly that I could commit to you. For a long weekend. Okay, 48 hours...dammit, don't pin me down!

But I digest. My point being, I may loathe commitment wherein a certain part of my anatomy is concerned, but when it comes to changing your life, in ways big or small, commitment is not an option. Not if you want to get anything done. Because, as I keep reminding you, change is a process; there will be wonderful days and days wherein you're grateful to have your local liquor store on speed-dial, because it seems like everything and everyone is against you. They're probably not..."probably."

But on good days and bad, on great days and crap days and boring days, in fact EVERY DAY, you must commit. If that means giving yourself a pep talk every single day...well, what are you waiting for? Some people see extremely successful people and think, "Well, it was probably easier for them." Maybe...maybe not. Maybe that person was hungrier or more desperate or simply had less to lose. Maybe that person knew that if they failed, they were over, so they committed and re-committed to themselves and their goals every. Single. Day. Example: Madonna. Used to love her as a kid in the 1980s--when, incidentally, I also really enjoyed Richard Marx, so what the f**k do I know?--now meh, kinda way f**king over her. But was she ever incredibly talented? Meh. When she came on the scene, you think there weren't a hundred thousand other girls in NYC with more talent, and better vocal chops? What did Madonna have? A HUNGER to succeed and a determination to do whatever it took to avoid going back to Michigan. (Can you blame her?)

So, on day 5, as you continue making those small yet hugely important changes, as you continue, essentially to change your life, I want you to continue committing yourself to yourself. If that takes you muttering a litany of reasons why you're going to stick with it every 5 minutes, so everyone else on the subway thinks you're a loony...great, now you'll get a seat. My point being: keep on breaking hearts, Sexy, but commit yourself to yourself! Oh, and to my Mexican food truck on Roosevelt Avenue & 62nd street: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__VQX2Xn7tI

Leave me your thoughts/rants/praise in the comments, and email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, if you'd like some help working through that commitment!

If you know anything about me and this business, you know...well, you definitely know too much about my dating habits, and The Kitten, sorry--but you also probably know how obsessed I am with accepting yourself. Both the bad and good. The good, the bad and the not-so-fantastic. And I say this as someone who went through a period of most definitely not accepting myself, or anything about myself, of being, in fact, resolutely toxic. This period, surprise, surprise, occurred during and immediately thereafter law school. This period occurred when I was trying to be someone else and do what I thought that person should do to be successful. And then, you know, it just got too tedious to pretend to be someone other than myself. Having said that, I didn't wake up one morning, glimmering like Glenda the Good Witch, dispensing love and glitter wherever I went (which is how I assume Lady Gaga rolls). I mean, I knew what I had to do...but I still had to wake up in the morning and actually do it. (Spoiler alert: it worked out okay, thanks.)
All of this to say why I was so blown away to read this article, http://nymag.com/news/features/transgender-children-2012-6/
I will admit, in the nature of full disclosure, that as a teenager, I sort of wasn't thrilled to be a girl, and I sort of wished I was a gay man in the 1970s.( Party time, b*tches!) In hindsight, I had probably read way, way too much Tennessee Williams, Joe Orton, Jean Genet etc.. Then again, I also went through a phase of listening to Falco, for f**k's sake. (...and yet, I never wanted to be a third-rate German pop singer. So clearly, despite the fact that I also liked Richard Marx, I had some standards. For once.)
My point being, when I first read this article, I was sort of horrified, thinking of these young children taking hormones and in some cases, physically altering their bodies. But if you consider that these kids aren't going through phases, they're trapped in the "wrong" body...if you consider that, then you understand that it takes tremendous courage, for these kids and for their parents, to make these choices.