F**k Hurricane Sandy, You Still Need a Job

You're right: I am a little cranky. Not because I'm worried about Queens getting destroyed in Sandy's maw--honestly, I can't assume that as a single girl hurricane that she'd want all the related ish of the outer boroughs in her life--but I could do without the media whipping the population into a frenzy of fear and loathing and consumption of too much Nutella. Remember when we used to have leaders who grit their teeth, and counseled us that the only thing we had to fear was fear itself, and with that attitude we won World War Two and thus avoided having to learn German? Yeah, me neither...but I could still do without a bleed-and-lead "news" cycle aimed at making me want to trade in all my stockpiled weapons for bottled water and Oreo ice-cream, and live perpetually in fear. (The Kitten just read this opening and is all,"...and how exactly does this tie into helping people get a job?" Re-read the headline, you little orange b*tch.)

Anyhoo... now you're holed up in your hovel, with your significant other or his brother or whoever else was on Craigslist...and guess what? You still need a damn job. I mean, even if you had one in NYC today, you couldn't reach it, since Hizzoner shut down the MTA (#redundant)...but you're (probably) home, you're (probably) single, so you might as well spend part of this day, assuming you haven't had to evacuate, doing something productive--besides getting laid, obviously--and improve your job search. 

Recently, I had a client who was interested in getting hired as a hotel concierge for VIPs at some swanky hotel. Background: a hotel concierge can be expected to do everything from making dinner reservations, to picking up dry cleaning, to retrieving lost laptops and other luggage from across the globe, getting last-minute tickets to the World Series, etc. etc. More generally, a hotel concierge is expected to welcome guests to the hotel and to provide an insider's knowledge about the facility, the city and all the types of options available to the guest. The more expensive a hotel, the more complex talents a hotel concierge is expected to provide. Therefore, for someone detail-oriented, for someone who has excellent communication skills, and is used to performing at a very high level of customer relations...the job of a hotel concierge can be a challenging, if highly rewarding position. 

Since my client didn't have a lot of personal knowledge about the field, some of the first things I wanted her to do was to educate herself about the job, so as to be eventually able to re-write and re-position both her resume, and far more importantly, her LinkedIn profile, as relevant to the hotel/tourism industry human resources people, who would would be hiring for such positions.

What follows are some of the assignments I gave my client...feel free to go crazy. (And even if you're not looking for a job as a hotel concierge, you might find these ideas travel very well to other fields...hint hint!)

 1. What exactly does a hotel concierge do? What sort of skills/education/experience does one need, and how can we "translate" the skills you already have? Let's start by Googling "hotel concierge," check out the industry/job descriptions on Monster, Vault, and also reference a few hotel websites (http://www.nycparamount.com/careers), the W, Hilton, Marriott, to get an idea of which companies if any might be hiring, and whom they're looking for. This is an excellent time to create daily "search agents" on Monster.com and Vault.com, as to to be alerted when these types of positions become available. I would also suggest you then go on LinkedIn.com, and start "following" the companies which are hiring hotel concierges, so that you know immediately when they have openings. 

2. Start a list of all the "buzz words" or "key words" that are repeatedly coming up in your searches and job descriptions for hotel concierge, in order that we may re-write your resume to include all those words and thus help your resume eventually get read and reviewed by an actual human. You should also start working on a rough cover letter, highlighting your extensive organizational skills; your ability to be gracious and resourceful under pressure; your "people" skills, your superior communication abilities, etc..

3. Next, I would advise you to carefully work your way through your  Facebook and LinkedIn contacts, checking to see if you know anyone who works in the hotel trade. Since networking is always far more powerful than passively sending in resumes to an email address, I would strongly suggest you speak to anyone and everyone you know who works in this industry. You need to get over your shame cycle right now and let everyone you know in on this search. If you're willing to post on Facebook, that you're looking for a job as a hotel concierge in the NYC area, and give a couple of sentences describing your relevant experience as well as what exactly you're looking for, and asking people who have contacts to email you, you could be even more successful. The bigger you go with your search, the bigger your results.

These are just some ideas to get you started thinking differently about your potential employment search...as well as your opportunities. If, for example, you really follow those steps and look closely through your Facebook and LinkedIn connections, I'm sure you'll be surprised by how many people you know in any given industry you might be interested in transitioning to. And what if you have no contacts, no ideas whatsoever?

Well, you could always email me @carlotazee@gmail.com. After all, Hurricane Sandy will eventually go away, but you're still gonna need that job...and I'll still be here, waiting to help you get it...

Since I've become serious about using my business Facebook page (just writing those three words makes me automatically feel like I'm a senior citizen...and then I start thinking about what a useful magazine AARP puts out... and then I get really cranky and need to go date some 25 year old boy and prove I am not an old person dammit...though increasingly, I do refer to it as "The Facebooks"...dammit!), I've had this tremendous uptick in business, learned a huge amount about marketing, reached out to oodles of new clients, been able to reach those clients in new and improved ways yadda yadda yadda.

Therefore, in light of all that I've learned from The Facebook, and how much time we--the general human and some feline-- population spend on it, I've been thinking:...if you're unemployed, or under-employed, or seeking to transition to a new industry, for example...why not create a Facebook page around that desire?

Now, I know for some people, especially those people who are 1) unemployed and 2) raised in a Judeo-Christian shame-based culture, the idea of putting out there in the world your status as an unemployed person, and letting everyone know...is kind of insanely depressing. It can make you want to start the day with a Judy Garland-inspired cocktail of straight vodka and Ambien. #good times.

 But how about you turn that frown upside down, Sunshine and realize that pretty much everyone has been unemployed, or underemployed or a fan of Judy at some point in their lives and that the more you own your status...the better your chances of putting you and all your unique talents in front of as many people as possible, which in turn dramatically increases the odds that someone, somewhere is going to notice your page, see who you are, see your skills and what you're looking for and think,"Oh, hey...I know someone who could hire this kid in a minute!" Whereas, the alternative route, of being drunk by 3pm in the afternoon, semi-nude and drooling on the sofa is unlikely to get you any legit job offers. Unlikely, but you are correct: not completely out of the question. Maybe things have loosened up at the State Department. #YOLO!

So, for example, let's say you decide to humor me and put up a page: first of all, you have to be as clear as possible with your (potential) audience as to: who you are; your skills, experience and education; what type of work you're looking for (do not make the audience guess since, after all, this is The Facebooks, and between guessing and going to look at pictures of kittehs...you will always lose. In fact, never ever make the audience guess as to what kind of job help you want since they won't guess. They just won't care.)...and some of your unique, personal flavor. All of that could be the nuts and bolts of  your "about" section of the page.

Then, your status updates could relate the types of job interviews you've had; networking you're doing; if you've written articles, or have a professional Twitter account, you could feature them and link them to the page. If you've been interviewed on TV, or other social media channels, I'd put that there. If you're engaged in resolving issues important your field, this is an excellent place to start discussions. If you're doing research, attending conferences, talking to other people in the field...put all of that on your page so people see that this is not merely a job for you, it is a passion.  If you're an attorney with an interest in immigration, for example, this type of page would be an excellent forum to discuss issues of law, give (qualified) advice, talk about related news, even post in other languages. That way, potential employers see how engaged you are in your field and get a strong idea of all you bring to the table. Not only are you telling, you're showing, which is much more important. And obviously, think of this page as the ultimate way to network: the more people who see it, the more people who know you need a job, which means the better your chances.

Say, for example, you're a cartoonist: this would be the perfect forum to regularly post your latest cartoons, so people can see your talent for themselves. If you're a writer, trying to get published, or an actor trying to get noticed, this is an excellent way to capture people's attention, create a platform...and by extension, create some leverage.You can put up videos and pictures of yourself and your work, etc. etc...

Whatever kind of work it is you're trying to get--from acting, to getting published, to finding your own small country to rule (#jealous)--the more you embrace your page, and put up relevant, unique, intelligent and interesting content...the more people you will engage in your page, therefore expanding your network, therefore expanding your skills and your leverage...therefore expanding your opportunities.

Don't believe a silly little The Facebook page can do all that? Email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com and I'll help you create it and then we'll see, my fine-feathered friend, we'll see! 

While in a more intelligent world (ha!), this article about people being haunted by all of the insane sh*t they post online, would not have to be written (duh!), I can personally guarantee that several hundred (really, hundred thousand) will read it and be shocked, shocked; while, and this might be worse, another hundred or hundred thousand, will think, "well, that doesn't apply to me," and blissfully continue to post nekkid pics of themselves; pics of their drugs; racist/retarded status updates; various illegal activities; their support of Michele Bachman...etc.

True story: I interned once for a certain (in)famous NY Senator (not the naked one, BTW) and a fellow intern, showing me his Facebook page, which seem primarily composed of photos of him doing keg-stands or smoking blunts, or having sex, casually told me---WITH A STRAIGHT FACE--that he planned on holding elected office one day. Elected office in the United States of America, to be clear. Not in like the Sudan, where the Internet probably only works every third year. Those poor people are probaby looking at "I can haz cheesburger" postings from years ago...

Now, to be fair, given some of the political scandals that have erupted in the past few years, I'm sure a few of you are all, "....so, nu?" Right, but you still have to be electable before you can destroy yourself, yes?This troll truly didn't get it; he thought his photos were fine, totally fine, what's the problem?

Some of my various mens might read this post and giggle, since I myself have not always acted super appropriately when it comes to the Interwebs and modesty. On the other hand, 1) those photos are hot as hell, son (trust me!) and 2) I'm self-employed! I'm not running for office! Loving me means loving all of me!
I'm not going to be shocked, shocked when "someone" (cough cough) sells those photos to the tabloids...not like the people in these articles who are posting photos of themselves with guns, or naked or whatever and then applying to corporate America for jobs.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/21/technology/social-media-history-becomes-a-new-job-hurdle.html?pagewanted=1&src=recg