The Notebook

If you've read this blog for longer than 5 minutes, you'll know that I'm fairly obsessed with using very simple solutions to achieve, eventually, big results. Some of this is because I dislike all the happy horsesh*t and snake-oil we're sold in this society, and some of it is because I started this business while carrying six-figures of law school debt, so I had no choice. One of these days, I might actually find myself being grateful to Sallie Mae for this experience of forced austerity and the lessons it taught me about the human spirit, and how law school was the wind beneath my wings...one of these days indeed, but not today.

Today, I just want to share another strategy for getting out of your own way...hence, the notebook. When trying to create something important, say a new business, or a professional networking strategy which will help you achieve a job/career you love, or write a book, or WHATEVER, one of the most important things you must realize is that if you're not creating the opportunities you need, you're wasting time.

So, in a small business for example, if I'm not generating the business I need...I'm wasting my own time. I might  be doing something that sounds nice on Facebook, but if it won't, directly or indirectly, lead to generating client interest...it's a waste of time. This is something I have to remind myself and clients all the time. That two hours researching ideas for my new website? The website will lead to bigger branding, sponsoring and client-development...those were two hours well spent. They may not immediately bring in cash, but eventually they will. That 45 minutes spent on a conference-call with people who have no idea what they're doing? Might as well watched some "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," since those prospective clients are never going to get their sh*t together. Does that sound cold-blooded? Alas.

Thus, the notebook. I have, off and on, had various notebooks in which I listed, every day, the 5 constructive steps I took every day to achieve whatever goal I was focused on. (Some of you are realizing, with a shudder, that I'm far, FAR, more compulsive than you thought. Thank you! I do try.) At a certain point, the routine action of doing the steps usually takes over and I can put the notebook aside till I'm starting on something else more challenging. I mean, I have to hope that when I'm 85, fer Chrissake, I won't be in a motorized cart, with a notebook in my bra, and a cat named "Mr. Monkey" in the basket, going through the drive-thru at Taco Bell. Though honestly...hold that thought, since that truly might be paradise on earth...hmm.

I'm just sayin'. If you're trying to change something important in your own life, this is a simple yet effective way to get started. Buy a cheap notebook, and commit to every day doing and writing down the 5 positive steps you took that day to get one day closer to your goals. For many of us, knowing we have to write something down will force us to stop procrasturbating and get something real done. The act of accomplishing something significant releases those wonderful chemicals in the brain and you think, "Well...that was awesome. I could do something else." Rinse and repeat. (And yes, on the first day, you can write down buying the notebook as one action if you really want to be that cheesy.)

Want some more help on committing to your goals and getting out of your way? Of course you do! Email me at carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation.

xo
C.

Make Your Own Luck, Part II

Continuing on with our series (...saga?) about ways not to sabotage yourself, here's a novel idea: When you say or do something stupid, apologize sincerely and move on.  I know, I'm crazy like that. Whoa, mama! I believe in taking responsibility when I say something stupid and apologizing. But apparently I am crazy like that, because, just yesterday for example, I received an email from a certain crazy man who had previously cursed me to the high heavens for not returning his clippings. Now, that I had returned said clippings and apparently redeemed myself as a human, he emailed me again, not mentioning his un-medicated, un-scripted outburst, and proceeded to quote Shakespeare.

Well, I enjoy Shakespeare also... but I much prefer people who are somewhat stable adults; those are the people whom I am going to focus this business on. I worked with enough raging, moronic bi-polar types in TV news, thanks. I'm set.

Some of you are thinking, "Wow, it must be so wonderful to be perfect, Carlota, sorry I'm trying to make it here on Planet Earth!" Simma down, I never said I was perfect, nor wanted to be. Perfection tends to be very boring. I'm one, overly-sarcastic woman with not enough cats. In fact, just this week, I truly mortified myself by saying something highly offensive to a client. I experienced that level of mortification wherein time stops and you see slowly, oh so slowly, your life passing you by. (Note to self: This time, don't buy the Wham! Make It Big album. Just don't.) But I am an adult, so I apologized. Profusely. My client, being far more mature than me, accepted my apology in the most gracious way possible. I did NOT ignore it, or blame it on someone else or quote Chekhov. It's not Chekhov's fault, I behaved poorly. (True story: Russians of a certain generation will sarcastically invoke Pushkin to make a point, as in, "So who do you think is going to clean up this mess? Pushkin?! Pushkin's going to clean up your trash?")

Many people talk about achieving their goals, right? The inability or refusal to apologize after hurting other people can really derail your dreams. The world is very small. If you're going to be that kind of malicious douche, news gets around. I'm sure that crazy man who emailed me Shakespeare genuinely believes we're BFFs again and that soon we'll be hanging out, and all is well. Or, at least that's what he told himself. Me, I'm a simple girl and I don't lie to myself. Because that's the worst kind of sabotage.

Want some help achieving your goals? (You can quote Shakespeare to me, if that's what gets you going...) Email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consult!

31Ways2GetItStarted™!: Two for the price of one!

Seriously boys and girls: don’t even. If you knew what a weekend I’ve had with clients, dating and my elderly cats, you’d feel remorse and shame for even thinking of giving me all that attitude. (I forgive you.) Dear Jebus, this lifestyle of being young, gifted and Jewrican is wearing me down. And yet, somehow, somehow, I rise up on my broomstick to make it through another day. Or something.  Speaking of which…

Day 26: Change your attitude to change your life.

I try, on principle, to not only not read the humorless sadness that is Cosmo magazine, but to not even know from it, as my Jewish grandmother in Coney Island would have said. But, a few years ago, when I was bartending, one of the waitresses I worked with, used to waste my time “discussing” that magazine's “articles” with me. (Last I heard, she was on Facebook bragging about the boyfriend she met working at a strip-club in Texas…so clearly she didn’t waste her life. #oy) I remember there was once this unintentionally hilarious article about the necessity of changing your physical and mental habits in order to change your life. One piece of “advice” included in the article, was to sleep on a different side of the bed, than the side you usually sleep on, in order to wake up with a new point of view. Okey-dokey.

But this crappy and hilarious if somewhat sad advice aside…you do have to change your attitude to really change your life. Once, for example, I started seriously engaging upon this business, I stopped hanging out with a lot of my former TV colleagues, since their negativity was toxic. I noticed that we didn’t have much in common anymore, thank goodness, after I stopped being constantly jaded and depressed. I was excited and enthusiastic…they found my passion “childish.” Speaking personally, I’d rather be "childish" than negative any day of the week, since negative thinking tends to bring with it only more negativity and a shutting down of ideas and opportunities. 

Whatever you’re trying to achieve, if you go at it with the same poor attitude you bring to a job or life you hate...well, seriously: how could you possibly expect to gather the momentum, energy and passion necessary to undertake real change? Change demands the best of you because it’ll eventually give you the best of yourself. I’m not necessarily going to say, “change your attitude to change your altitude,” but yes, I’ll be thinking it. (I told you I was tired. Shut-up.I've already had The Kitten giving me serious attitude for my walk of shame and dog hair. Don't ask.)

Day 27: Acknowledge your power.

This is a big one for me. It sounds so trite…but in many ways, it’s the bedrock of getting started on anything important. Several years ago, I “dated” (...or something...sigh.) a very handsome boy. He was a former model, with great personality and looks. In the midst of our (cough cough) "relationship" he went on food-stamps. He wouldn't get a job, but he did invest the weeks necessary to go through the bureaucracy to qualify for and receive food stamps. Fine. Let’s face it: it’s fun to eat every day, in fact, to eat several times a day. This is the same kid who didn’t pay his cable bill for 6 months at a time, but managed to convince the representative at TimeWarner to give him free cable during the 2010 football season, so as not to miss watching the Detroit Lions. Did I mention this boy had an actual MBA from an actual accredited university in these United States of America? The plot thickens.

He could talk very well, he could present, he looked great…but he was on food stamps, he was depressed and he had zero self-confidence. Whenever I would try to get him hired as a real-estate broker, or sell insurance—things he could have done oh so easily given the scope of his personality and looks—he made sure to sabotage everything. Don’t even get me started on the cocktail party he went to, set up by a former work colleague to help him get a job, at which he showed up to drunk, hungover and high on cocaine. Or the cover letter he wanted to send that started out, I swear to Yahweh,”Yo…” Who wouldn’t want to employ that? Oy.Obviously, he was frightened of being hired, of changing his life, of living up to his potential.

So, with this talented if determined-to-be-doomed boy in mind, I say: Acknowledge. Your. Power! This boy was helpless because he thought of himself as helpless. He assumed he was helpless and he became helpless. You think that’s New Age sh*t? I promise you: we become what we think we are. If this kid could have seen himself the way other people did—handsome, a good talker, sharp—he wouldn’t have accepted being on food stamps and day-drinking, while occasionally working as a waiter. Not with an MBA. He simply wouldn’t have stood for it. (...Some of you are wondering what the hell I was doing with this kid...while others have understood that he was fine. As. Hell, son! Oh my lord, was this boy smoking hot. So often I curse my vagina for her poor choices. Seriously.)

Therefore, my plea to you is: acknowledge your power, acknowledge the talents you already have and determine to do the best by yourself. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend you truly loved and cared for. You’d want that person to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be at their best, wouldn’t you? You’d hate to see a friend you loved working at something that degraded their abilities and didn't make them happy…wouldn’t you? So why should that be okay for wonderful you? Spoiler alert: IT’S NOT!

 …Oh, and don’t start cover letters with the word, “Yo,” because each time you do it takes years off my life and after Saturday night, I already feel like I don’t have that many left.That was your two for the price of one! Want more nagging/inspirations/cat-hair/dating horror stories/love? Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, or leave me a comment, or visit my Facebook page,” Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta.” Become a fan of the page and I’ll give you a free consultation!