I'm writing this in my lair in Queens, as Superstorm Nemo (...so now, everything is "super" and everything has a name? This is a thing, now? I can only presume that Nemo already has a Tumblr account, and is on Twitter...why not, right?), prepares to lay waste to the tri-state area with snow...since, you know, it is winter. Live a little.

Anyways. Writing this in my lair, preparing to do a Google+ hangout later today with a client who is kicking ass, and thought I'd just use this opportunity to give you some reasons to get thee on Google+ ASAP. You would be surprised to think that in 2013 people still need reasons, per se, to use social media to broaden their horizons...you would, huh? Yesterday, I met a (lovely) twenty-something girl yesterday who wasn't even on Facebook. I think she called it, "The Facebook." Sigh.

I did meet her in person, but otherwise, you are correct: I would have had to assume that the "girl" is really some sketchy guy catfishin' on-line from Tennessee and/or Albania. Also, a few days ago, I had a new client tell me he wasn't "really sold" on the whole social media thing. Tempted to ask this client if he wasn't "really sold" on the uses of the wheel, or the staying power of the printed word, but sometimes...sometimes, boys and girls, I just have to curl up in the fetal position, with a mug o' whiskey and give up. Sometimes..but not today.

 I certainly am no social media expert, (http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-am-a-brand-pathetic-man-says,30545/) thank god, since who can truly be an "expert" in a new, constantly evolving field? And while there is a ton of German porn, bad Beyonce publicity photos and (vitally important) cat memes clogging up the series of tubes which are the Interwebs...I'm now getting excited for Google+ for the ability it gives us to do live "hangouts" and instantly reach and communicate with people about ideas.Oh, just f**king humor me. I'm a very sensitive flower. Check out this article: http://www.edutopia.org/blog/educators-schools-google-hangouts-mary-beth-hertz

So, for example, say you owned a media production company and you're trying to build your brand. You could get all your employees on Google+, and invite potential clients, friends, humanity, to a hangout teaching people how to present themselves on TV, in a way orchestrated to best get their professional branding message across to a receptive audience...dear Jahweh, please include in that something about dressing appropriately. I've seen some interviews on morning TV--which I always watch with the volume off, while at the gym, so that I don't lose what's left of my mind--in which people seemed to have gotten dressed in a Mennonite community, and I wanted to remind them, "MAKEUP IS YOUR FRIEND! And dress appropriately to your true weight, not your fantasy weight." Oy.

Anyways.

You could have a hangout for people who want to learn how to conduct great interviews...or learn to produce live TV...or who just want to learn all the various aspects of TV production. Keep them short, informative and interesting and ah-ha! Now you're not just telling me you're an expert, you're showing me. I'm learning something. Don't give away the store...just give me enough to understand that you know what you're talking about, and your brand is worth my time. That way, when my company needs to make a branding video, these hangouts are going to come to mind and I'm more likely going to call you.You could also tweet out the hangouts, with relevant and intelligent hashtags...and I'd burst into song. Or something.

Check me out on Google+, or email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, with rants, issues and, of course, cat memes...or visit my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!

I meant to have this post written by 6am, so I could open with something like,"...it's a new day, another day to continue the difficult if rewarding task of differentiating yourself and your talents...." But considering it's almost 1pm, and I spent the whole morning helping clients, nagging clients, cleaning my hovel, explaining the concept of "free will" to other clients who seem pretty frustrated that I don't have the power to make it so just by commanding  the heavens...well, at least the apartment is clean.

Anyhoo. It is a new day--even here in Queens--and you should spend at least some of it, brooding on how you are going to differentiate your talents, whether you're a poet or attorney, and how you will use the wide world of social media to sell yourself. Because really this, besides falling in lust and eating ice cream and rubbing my feet, is what it's all about...over and over and over again. Figuring out your talents, differentiating those gifts from all the other talented people out there, and then "selling" (in one form or another) those gifts.

I, for example, have been working for weeks on these branding videos I'm doing. Sweet fancy Moses, I'm just doing some stupid videos, not re-making 400 Blows...WTF is my problem, right? Well, if you go on the Interwebs, you'll see oh, several bazillion horrendously done marketing videos. Marketing videos which make you want to move to a commune in the jungle somewhere, with a charismatic if reclusive leader wearing sunglasses and load up on Kool-Aid. No es bueno.

I'd like my videos to actually help my growing business. I'm kind of finicky that way. Weird. So I keep shooting, watching, re-shooting, writing, whining, re-writing, kvetching, even more whining. What's that? Good point, Audience: I could just do the videos naked. Excellent point. However, let's hold off on the truly misguided (i.e. "fun") choices till my soon-to-be reality show enters it's second season and I start "dating" some 19 year old good ole boy from southern Indiana or Kentucky with a history of firearms and a brand new ankle-monitoring device. #goodtimes That should be in about 4 years right? Bueno!

My point being...hmm, what is my point? I'm kind of distracted now thinking about all the bad behavior I'll be able to publicly engage in. No wait, here's my point: think about what your talents are, so you know whom your audience is and how to market to them. I have, as you may have noticed, a very specific brand. So I am involved in creating very specific videos to market that brand. Whatever it is you at home are trying to market--whether you're a poet, an attorney, an up-and-coming actor etc....what is your brand? What makes you unique? When you understand that, you'll be much clearer on understanding whom your brand appeals to, who will (emotionally) recognize your brand..and that will bring you even closer to figuring out, how you can position your brand to appeal to those people who will "get" what makes you special.

Got more questions? Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com...and stay tuned for my first videos...!

Being on-message, good & bad

I've been spending a lot of time, recently, with new clients, helping them design their Facebook fan and business pages. (Someone reading this, just snorted and thought, "Thank god, you're not wasting your Wellesley education, right? Get a real job, hippie!") And yet, it is a real job: it's called, 'branding,' boys and girls. We all do it, some more successfully than others. Why, for example, do I retain any info about Kim Kardashian's "wedding" in the nooks and crannies of my brain? Especially, why do I retain said information, when all of civil procedure, which I swear to god I studied, is gone?
So here's my point: if and when you grow up, leave the drum circle and decide that yes, a Facebook page, and all the inherent free marketing and advertising (ka-ching!), could be very extremely essential to you and your business: remember what Facebook is there to do. Namely: give people a place to goof-off and waste time; allow people to stay in touch with friends, kinda-friends, girls who married boys so fine it drives me insane, freneies, ex-mens and rivals; receive and post ginormous amounts of cat pictures; dog diaries (don't ask); let people occasionally learn something; post even more kitten pictures.
Therefore, unless your page is promoting a baby orange kitten or some porn star, there is such a thing as being too on-message. Your friends and family, and various strangers, I'm sure, are going to support your cigar business, or real estate business or winery, but 10 postings a day about cigars is seriously TMI. (And not, TMI, in the good way, like when I bitch about being hung to the over.) On the other hand, 3 interesting, informative, even witty postings about cigars, mixed in with links to funny articles, interesting news, relevant products, music and video clips...okay, I'm down. Since now you're keeping your brand in my head...but not shoving it down my throat.
Which is, of course, why this info does not apply to any Facebook page about 1) kittens, 2) baby orange kittens, 3) tiny tabbies, or 4) women with large breasts who have sex in public.