You've eaten all that Halloween candy--and this Sunday is the NYC Marathon, despite apparently all the little people or "naysayers" who still don't have power, and are trying to poop Hizzoner's party with their lack of electricity, and food rotting in their fridge...details.--and the holidays are days away, which can mean fretting about family issues (#redundant) or fretting about how you look for all those holiday parties.

I'm thinking specifically here of an (awesome) girl I know, who recently said to me that she was interested in getting back into the dating scene to see, and I quote, "Who's gonna love the pudge? Who's going to accept me as I am, right now?" Or, as I always say to men who are disturbed to see that I'm not kidding about being a crazy cat lady, "Loving me means loving all of me. The cats are part of the deal."

I think, on the one hand, my friend's attitude is exceptional for her determination to love and accept herself as she is. On the other hand, it's pretty damn depressing that in 2012, fer Chrissake, we still have to remind ourselves of that happy horseshit. Jesus, doesn't it ever end? I'm not expecting some feel-good organic utopia in which everyone is barefoot and holding hands and singing--I mean, I turned down Reed College for a reason--but what will it take for people to just get over how boring it is to keep hating themselves, and lying about it? Because clearly a hurricane isn't enough...at least, not in NY where we've invested so much in suffering in more interesting ways than you.

Cranky. I am cranky. I just wanted to write a quick note to a good friend, and all the other people like her out there who are trying to accept themselves in the present and stop wasting time about how awesome everything will be 6 months from now when their lives and bodies are like, OMG, so perfect.

I am cranky, but you should email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, if you want to share pictures of your cats, or just say "sup"!

Being on-message, good & bad

I've been spending a lot of time, recently, with new clients, helping them design their Facebook fan and business pages. (Someone reading this, just snorted and thought, "Thank god, you're not wasting your Wellesley education, right? Get a real job, hippie!") And yet, it is a real job: it's called, 'branding,' boys and girls. We all do it, some more successfully than others. Why, for example, do I retain any info about Kim Kardashian's "wedding" in the nooks and crannies of my brain? Especially, why do I retain said information, when all of civil procedure, which I swear to god I studied, is gone?
So here's my point: if and when you grow up, leave the drum circle and decide that yes, a Facebook page, and all the inherent free marketing and advertising (ka-ching!), could be very extremely essential to you and your business: remember what Facebook is there to do. Namely: give people a place to goof-off and waste time; allow people to stay in touch with friends, kinda-friends, girls who married boys so fine it drives me insane, freneies, ex-mens and rivals; receive and post ginormous amounts of cat pictures; dog diaries (don't ask); let people occasionally learn something; post even more kitten pictures.
Therefore, unless your page is promoting a baby orange kitten or some porn star, there is such a thing as being too on-message. Your friends and family, and various strangers, I'm sure, are going to support your cigar business, or real estate business or winery, but 10 postings a day about cigars is seriously TMI. (And not, TMI, in the good way, like when I bitch about being hung to the over.) On the other hand, 3 interesting, informative, even witty postings about cigars, mixed in with links to funny articles, interesting news, relevant products, music and video clips...okay, I'm down. Since now you're keeping your brand in my head...but not shoving it down my throat.
Which is, of course, why this info does not apply to any Facebook page about 1) kittens, 2) baby orange kittens, 3) tiny tabbies, or 4) women with large breasts who have sex in public.