And Now That I Have Your Attention Dept.:

WHAT: Free YentaClinic

WHERE: Mid-Manhattan  & the Interwebs

WHEN: Saturday, March 9, 2013, from 10am-5pm

You’ve got questions, I have (many) answers.

Maybe you’ve been brooding about contacting me for help with your career-transition…or figuring out what you want to be when you grow up and how to do it…or you need some intelligent, bullsh*t-free, reasonable professional advice which is also creative and inspiring. Maybe you’ve wanted to meet me first to see if I’m as awesome as you hope[1]. 

Sign up for a FREE 45 minute session, either in person or virtually, with the power of the Interwebs[2]…and let’s get to work! I’ll help with everything from creating and improving your LinkedIn profile…to learning how to intelligently and purposefully network...writing your elevator-pitches and resumes…social media marketing…researching business issues…whining...and the like.

Rules:

1.       New clients only.

2.       You must become a fan of my business Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta.”

3.       Email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com, with a 45 minute window, between 10am-5pm, and I’ll confirm your appointment and send you the address.

4.       You must be awesome.

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[1] Spoiler alert: I’m way, way, more awesome than you could ever imagine.

[2] You must have a working Skype account, in good order, before our session commences.

Channukah Hints, Jewrican Factoids #2: Just Get Started

I'm going to title this second hint, "Just get started," since taking action, as opposed to just talking about taking action, is huge. It can and will change your life...if you allow it to do so by taking action. People truly are creatures of habit. And habits can be good or bad, but usually a little bit of both, so if you're trying to make big changes, well you're lying to yourself if you think, "Even though I haven't looked at a gym in 6 months, tomorrow, I'll start 'P90X' and become ripped, so today I can go eat some chicken fries." (ZOMG! How good do some chicken fries sound right about now? What? Am I hungover? Well, thanks for asking but no, not more than usual...HA! I'm kidding. Shut up.)
Anyway, that scenario isn't going to happen, because you're going to build up the thought of going to the gym in your mind till it's exhausting and scary. You're going to feel overwhelmed and defeated and depressed and soon you'll be drunk, in your undies, eating 'Cherry Garcia' ice cream out of the container and shopping on Zappos. (Once again: I am full of awesome ideas. Invite me to your party.)
For example, you know those people who hate, say, their job, or their weight, or their relationship, and blabber on: "Yep, this year, I'm going to [fill in the blank]." And then a year passes, and everything--including their excuses-- is still status quo? Oh, you mean all those excuses didn't help you achieve a better career or become a size 6? How weird!
Or, people who say, "Well, I hate my job, but I figure things will work out one way or another." Really? If by "things will work out," you mean, "things will stay exactly the same, or maybe just worse..." then yes, you are correct! When I, years ago, was in a horrible, stagnant long-term, long-distance relationship, wherein we had zero interest in each other, but neither one of us could bear to end it...things didn't "work themselves out." No, things got much, much, much worse till we both were forced to take action and end it. And that was every bit as fun as it sounds, but we did it.
Therefore, Coaching Hint #2 is: just get started. Take some, even a little bit, of action every day till it becomes a routine. You need to lose weight? Go to the gym for even 15 minutes. Download your favorite TV show onto your iPod and watch 15 minutes of it as you walk on the treadmill. I know, no one knows your suffering, the torment of your existence, Bono should do a concert in your honor... but you can do this. 15 minutes. And you can keep doing this, till one day you'll look at the clock and think, "Hmm, have I been here for 35 minutes? Did I actually break a sweat? That was fun!"
You want to change your job? Invest 15 minutes a day EVERY DAY in networking, working on your resume, researching opportunities, and even more networking. Does that sound like a lot? Interesting...cause I suspect you spend hours a day on Facebook. So, you have time to post photos of your kids, or of the new shoes you purchased, or to scrutinize your boyfriend's female friends' pages, or IM your friends...but not even 15 damn minutes to take the steps necessary to begin improve your life? Really? Interesting.
Just get started. Just do something today. Because there will never ever be a perfect time. Perfect excuses, sure...but a perfect time...no, not so much.
Jewrican Factoid #2: Despite my thing for those country boys from the Midwest, I have indeed been on JDate, but invariably the men would say, "Wow, so hot...but you're not Jewish, too bad." Really? You get to decide what I am? Seems like a lot of responsibility for someone so short. (Zing!)

I know that some of you, visiting this blog are perhaps thinking x-rated thoughts of me (one can only hope, right?), but when it comes to hiring me to be your very own creativity coach, someone to help you get your mind right, you're all, "Oh, no, I'm fine. Fine and dandy! I don't need a coach." Alas.
Because that means...I failed. I haven't gotten across to you that EVERYBODY needs a coach. A coach is someone in your corner, someone to brainstorm with, someone to bounce ideas off of, a coach is that disinterested party who wants you to succeed, dammit! As I always tell my clients, I nag because I love. And I also nag because a successful life is truly a collaborative process. Especially in this crap economy.
The importance of collaboration was brought home to me the other night as I was reading Bert Lahr's "Prick Up Your Ears;" the biography of one of my favorite playwrights, Joe Orton. (Can't recommend it highly enough!) Overall it is an excellent book about about the all-too-short life fascinating man, but what I found truly gripping were the chapters detailing the creative process through which Orton created some of his masterpieces, such as "Entertaining Mr. Sloane" and "Loot." I wasn't surprised by the hundreds of rewrites Orton did...but the fact that at the beginning, Orton didn't even know how "Entertaining Mr. Sloane" would end. Someone else suggested the ending! "Loot" meanwhile was rewritten for months...there were many times, when it seemed the play would never get off the ground.
Meanwhile, you, out there, think you don't need a coach or a mentor, to life you out of your stagnant comfort zone...?

Hopefully, by now, my inappropriate, snarky, sarcastic sense of humor has become all-too-obvious to whoever (somebody, anybody) is reading this blog. My feeling about people without an excellent sense of humor is similar to my feeling about people who live without cats or dogs…bewilderment. I’m amazed by how clean their apartments are, that there’s not 4000 damn pieces of toys to trip over, and look: no pet hair on the sofa! No vomit stains on the rug.  Oooh, ahh. But then it strikes me as lonely. It would be weird to open one of my kitchen cabinets, looking for a tea cup and not find a cranky cat giving me the stink eye since I intruded upon their personal time…lonely. (The men come and go, but the cats remain…probably because the door is locked, but anyway.)

Anyway, I’m referencing my sense of humor because as I get deeper in creativity coaching, I am forced to rely upon it ever more. Not just because some, okay many, people, as soon as you tell them you’re a coach give you The Look, and you can tell they’re thinking something like, “Right. And did you ever have any clients who won?” Also, let’s be frank: how many “coaches” have you met who just don’t get it?  And by “it,” I mean the concept of a successful, intellectual, passionate life in general. (These are the coaches who ask me where I got my coaching certificate from. Yeah. Here’s the thing: I have an undergraduate degree from Wellesley, and a law degree from Indiana University so…I’m set. Ima be fine. If a client truly believes that I cannot help him or her figure their ish out because I don’t have a degree (cough cough) from the University (cough cough) of Phoenix…well, go with God, we probably wouldn’t have clicked anyway.)

Just this morning, I got an email from an executive coaching group, expressing their interest in perhaps recruiting me to their team. I was not interested but I checked out their blog anyway…and once I saw all the misspellings, the overall ineptitude, the deadly seriousness…that’s all she wrote. People are going to mock me anyway, I don’t need to go looking for it.

But at least I adore what I do. I’m being forced to chant that to myself like a mantra, since just this morning, I read an article in Bloomberg Business Week about the explosive industry of fake tanning. Explosive as in people paying up to $300 to get spray-tanned in the privacy of their own homes, by people with titles like, “master airbrush tanning guru.” People who charge extra for artistry. Yes. Take a moment to consider that. Me? I’ll wait, right over here, among the ruins of our society, don’t mind me, la la la. Did I mention the woman who holds spray-tan training seminars, costing $2000? Seminars, held virtually ever weekend in cities like Dallas, L.A., Miami and New York? Seminars… that are packed?  

Listen, you can just go ahead and say: damn right I’m jealous. But, I’m not going to become a spray-tanning artist. I never was good at coloring within the lines. But I am obsessed with people using their potential, spray-tanned or not, and who’s to say who can and can’t be a guru? Not me. (And yes, still very jealous…)