You Say ‘Opportunistic,’ Like it’s a Bad Thing

That thought came to me recently, as I was trolling through one of the Facebook pages devoted to my college, Wellesley. A recent graduate was looking for professional advice on how to approach an older person in her industry whom she suspected could be an excellent mentor, but she was leery of appearing, in her own words, "opportunistic." Whoa now. When did opportunism become such a bad thing? I must have missed that memo. I honestly believe that opportunism is one of those words that some people use to make women feel bad about being ambitious. Those people are going to have to try a whole lot harder with me.

I mean, if you think networking, researching and all the hard work that goes into creating the (professional) opportunities you need to succeed are bad, well, I suppose you can stay in your job that you probably loathe but took out of fear. *waving* I’ll miss you. (#noiwont). Because listen: I have six-figures of law school debt, a small business to run and two cats who refuse to work. I enjoy eating every day. I’d rather spend this Christmas in Thailand than Queens. I’ve been rich and I’ve been broke as a joke, and last time I checked, rich was better. 

Also, as a feminist and a humanist, I personally want to live in a world wherein every single person has the opportunities they need to educate themselves and ultimately achieve their fullest potential. That’s my fantasy; humor me. Humor me with the idea of a world wherein all people are well-educated, and well-read and bored by the moronic actions of Kim Kardashian's vagina, but instead wake up in the morning, excited to be the change they want in the world. Some of you are reading this thinking, “Okay, hippie, good luck with that.” Thank you! Are there even hippies left, or are they all making their own craft beer in Brooklyn, and naming their (white) children "Havana" and baking vegan biscuits for their dogs. That's a shame.

No,  I’m just a humanist. I want everyone to have the same opportunities to achieve. So you can call me an opportunist, but I prefer to think of it as a refusal to accept your "No," as my personal final answer.

I’ve never understood people who use "opportunist"in a derogatory manner. Who doesn’t want the opportunity to live your truest, most passionate life on a daily basis? Listen, I spent years working in network news, hating myself for having to cut teases of water-skiing squirrels, as “complex” personalities flubbed their live-shots and threw things at me. Between that repressed memory experience and living in Russia and surviving law school, and being engaged twice, I feel like I’m done my time in hell, thanks.  Now I’d like to use my time left on this planet to help people live their fullest, most authentic lives. So if that makes me an opportunist, i.e. a human begin determined to help you figure out your potential and then create a realistic strategy to bring that potential to fruition…? Well, no sweat, America. Just make sure the check clears. 

Want some real help to figure out how to create the opportunities you need? Of course you do, Sunshine! Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation. 

Besos,

C.

Mentored in Murder

 If you've been following this blog for longer than 5 minutes, you know that among my (all-too-many) guilty pleasures, I have almost a fetish for true crime. So deeply shameful...but since loving me means loving all of me, I will completely cop to it, admitting my love of cheesy true crime shows such as "Wicked Attraction" and "Deadly Women." I feel better for having shared that with you.

I bring this up, since last night I was reading about this case, http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2012/11/12/teen-craigslist-killer-sentenced-to-life-without-parole/index.html. Brogan Rafferty is the teenager who was just sentenced to life without parole for his (odious) role in the murder of three men, and the attempted murder of a fourth man. Mr. Rafferty, in fact, ate a meal with his final intended victim before attempting to kill him. So, listen: no quibble from me. Mr. Rafferty helped kill three people, and he deserves to spend the rest of his empty life sitting in prison, brooding about what he did.

But that got me thinking. Thinking that it would almost be better if Brogan Rafferty never realizes the enormity of his crimes...and by crimes, I don't "just" mean taking the lives of three people, or leaving a hole in the lives of the people who love those dead men. I also mean, his active participation in destroying himself, in deadening himself, in quickening his path to prison. Many, oh so many teenagers in this country, in the world, in your neighborhood, for example, are lost, conflicted, isolated and frightened...but not many teenagers would so casually be able to participate in the luring and murder of other humans. For a fistful of dollars.
They killed men to sell their measly possessions...almost incredible. Brogan Rafferty was dead inside, and was on a path to prison long before he met his "mentor in murder*" Richard Beasley. Richard Beasley may have "recognized" Brogan Rafferty for the weak character that he is, but up until the last moment, Mr. Rafferty always had a choice.

And I also thought...what a shame. Because perhaps instead of an empty piece of shit like Beasley, an empty vessel of a "man" who can contribute nothing, but can only hunt down humans...imagine if Mr. Rafferty had run into a man or woman who could have mentored him to invest positively in himself, his education and his community. Perhaps then, three innocent people would still be alive and Mr. Rafferty would be learning a trade, or reading good books or realizing how glorious it is to wake up alive in the world...and not in a cage, up to his neck in blood. (By the way, shame on Beasley's mother for saying her son has "a good heart." Really? Did he misplace it? Did he leave it on his bedroom dresser, when he was luring humans to their deaths? Disgusting.)

I have the barest modicum of pity for Brogan Rafferty because of his age, because he allowed himself to be manipulated and made excuses for himself and because he will, deservedly, spend the rest of his (long) life institutionalized in a cage. And that's why I almost hope he doesn't start reading books in prison, and that he doesn't choose to educate himself...since that moment of clarity, of understanding the cowardly, pathetic choices he made and the despicable acts he actively furthered, will necessarily be horrendous. As it must be.

Obviously, my truest, my deepest, my most sincere sympathies go to the victims and their families.



* Yes, "Wicked Attraction" producers, do feel free to use that awesome title when you profile this case. You're welcome!