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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the importance of self-confidence, and how damaging the lack of self-confidence can be on ones’s ability to make and sustain the hard choices necessary to success…and that formed a link in my mind with the phenomenon of the “scambloggers:” some (understandably) pissed-off men and women who blog about the truth behind law schools and their inflated numbers and (largely) empty promises of easy employment; the destructive debt load students are encouraged to shoulder despite the shrinking pool of jobs; the changing nature of the legal profession which students are not prepared for…all excellent points.  I don’t blame the bloggers for being enraged; I graduated in 2007 from my law school and it wasn’t until 2010 that I could take any pride in it. The fault was 100% mine; I was the moron who was burnt out on TV news, but didn’t have the balls to admit that my life had become unrecognizable. I was the coward unable to admit that I was bored to death by my boyfriend, hated my job, was frustrated in my life…so, I know: I’ll go to law school and maybe magically someone else will break up with my boyfriend, and someone else figure out what the f**k I’m supposed to be doing with my life, la la la! 
Some of you are reading this thinking, “Okay, Carlota, but that’s not why most people go…right?” Well… you’d think, right…but I know a number of people who are intent on going to law school and not one of them is interested in the practice of law. Interested in avoiding the deeper issues of their lives yes; the law…meh, not so much.
This is why I don’t blame my quite lovely law school; wasn’t my law school's fault that I was an idiot who didn’t understand I would never again have a perfect credit score.  And I’m honestly not expecting that anyone will read this post and say, “Oh snap, I get it: I need to figure out my life!” Nah. If you want to go to law school, go, mazel tov…because now, four years after graduating, I’m grateful beyond measure for the experience, for what it taught me about the dire necessity of being true to me, of having to figure myself out…and what can happen when I choose to be a coward. So sure, my law school diploma is framed and hanging above my desk…why not? We should all be proud of battles fought well and won…even when sometimes, the hardest battle is with ourselves.

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