31Ways2GetItStarted™!: January 6, 2013

Day 6: If It Doesn’t Work, Change It!

Bear with me: I’m a wee bit exhausted, because I've been helping clients since about 5am this morning to be oh awesome, you know. *tosses hair, giggles.* So today, Sunday, I’m going to keep my wisdom short, namely: Whatever it is you’re doing, if it doesn’t work-after a realistic period, obviously—change it. Mistakes are fine; trying something new makes me happy…but refusing to learn from mistakes, and thus getting trapped into making the same mistake, over and over and over and sweet fancy Moses OVER again…no me gusta!

Listen, you’re trying to change your life, right? In big or small ways, yes? So wouldn’t it make sense to you to try something different when the first thing didn’t work? Oh, I don’t mean to start freaking out. I’m just tired. I haz a case of the grumps. It’s just that I see so many people who get locked into a pattern, and get stuck and then seem to think…”Oh well, guess this is it. I can’t [lose weight, find a good man, get a better job, fill-in-the-blank], guess this is reality and I better suck it up.” I dislike those people because they tend to be boring, and if I wanted boring in my life, I’d be back in a monogamous relationship. I’m not. My lady-parts are freeeeee! (Gross, I know, sorry. #notsorry)

Listen, the first 10 things you tried to (fill-in-the-blank) didn’t work? What about the next ten things? And the next 100 after that? True story: Kurt Vonnegut got 800 rejection letters before he sold Slaughterhouse Five http://amzn.com/0385333846. Think about that: 800. (He also saved all of them. I saw them at an exhibition honoring him at Indiana University.) 800 rejection letters and that man kept saving them and trying again. Have you gotten 800 rejection letters? And even if you had...so what, who cares! You’re alive aren’t you? What else have you got to lose? Nothing, not a damn thing, because when Kurt Vonnegut passed he had still written the books, and lived the life he wanted to. Isn’t your life worth a thousand rejection letters? (Don't go there, punk...I'm tired but I will still kick your ass if you imply your life isn't worth it.)

 Anyway, in the comments, I’d love to hear how many rejection letters you’d be willing to ignore to achieve your goals. And, in the meantime, want some help in figuring out exactly what those goals are? Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com! Also, like my page on Facebook, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” for a free consult and join the movement…you know you want to…

Educations vs. certificates

I spent some time yesterday reading through a leading university's continuing and professional studies course catalogue (how sexy is my life, huh?), which was almost as hilariously disturbing as getting drunk and going on an on-line dating site, to read the profiles. (Almost.) I am a huge believer, in fact I'm an obsessive believer in the value of education throughout one's life. My ginormous law degree doesn't hang on the wall above my desk just for the snob value, or to intimidate the boys I date (though really: is that so wrong?)...but because the skills and the way of thinking I learned at Indiana University-Bloomington, continue to help me in so many other ways.
In light of all that, what I found so hilarious about the adult ed courses was...how few were educational, in the old-fashioned sense of the word. You could get a certificate in coaching, or learn time-management for life, or a receive a certificate in creative writing...or you could explain to me how said certificate would help you impress the editorial staff of New Yorker magazine. Writers need to write, yes? And read, of course, but you become a writer by writing and re-writing and writing, and whining and procrastinating and being jealous of your friends and writing some more. Where exactly does a certificate come into this?
Education should be about learning; it should be about giving you the skills and resources to understand yourself and the world around you. I majored in history in college. I should be running my own small nation, indeed, but instead, I've used the lessons I learned--research, writing, cognitive thinking, to name a few--in all my jobs. (FYI: the cognitive thinking was much less helpful in TV news, wherein one is forced to regularly interact with people who consider reading He's Just Not That Into You as a major accomplishment.)
I have a law degree. I don't--thank god--work as an attorney...but I use the skills and ideas I (somehow) absorbed daily. Many people, unfortunately, have this idea that the point of education is to use your new-found knowledge in one way, and one way only: so if you have a law degree, and you're not practicing...well, then you failed. (Alas.)
These, of course, are the same people who believe that a certificate in life coaching or creative writing will, ipso facto, lead them to a thriving practice or writing the Great American Novel. Listen, if that's how you feel: knock yourself out. But if that's all education is to you: there's some websites, where you can buy a Ph.D, fer crissake: go big or go home, baby!
I'd argue that they are missing the point of education: education is not about a certificate or a degree. It's not about a piece of paper or some fancy letters after your name. It's about opening your mind to everything that's inside of you. And if that makes you want to vomit, I apologize...but I stand by it.
So don't get a certificate: get an education...! (Again: cheesy, but true.)

Hopefully, by now, my inappropriate, snarky, sarcastic sense of humor has become all-too-obvious to whoever (somebody, anybody) is reading this blog. My feeling about people without an excellent sense of humor is similar to my feeling about people who live without cats or dogs…bewilderment. I’m amazed by how clean their apartments are, that there’s not 4000 damn pieces of toys to trip over, and look: no pet hair on the sofa! No vomit stains on the rug.  Oooh, ahh. But then it strikes me as lonely. It would be weird to open one of my kitchen cabinets, looking for a tea cup and not find a cranky cat giving me the stink eye since I intruded upon their personal time…lonely. (The men come and go, but the cats remain…probably because the door is locked, but anyway.)

Anyway, I’m referencing my sense of humor because as I get deeper in creativity coaching, I am forced to rely upon it ever more. Not just because some, okay many, people, as soon as you tell them you’re a coach give you The Look, and you can tell they’re thinking something like, “Right. And did you ever have any clients who won?” Also, let’s be frank: how many “coaches” have you met who just don’t get it?  And by “it,” I mean the concept of a successful, intellectual, passionate life in general. (These are the coaches who ask me where I got my coaching certificate from. Yeah. Here’s the thing: I have an undergraduate degree from Wellesley, and a law degree from Indiana University so…I’m set. Ima be fine. If a client truly believes that I cannot help him or her figure their ish out because I don’t have a degree (cough cough) from the University (cough cough) of Phoenix…well, go with God, we probably wouldn’t have clicked anyway.)

Just this morning, I got an email from an executive coaching group, expressing their interest in perhaps recruiting me to their team. I was not interested but I checked out their blog anyway…and once I saw all the misspellings, the overall ineptitude, the deadly seriousness…that’s all she wrote. People are going to mock me anyway, I don’t need to go looking for it.

But at least I adore what I do. I’m being forced to chant that to myself like a mantra, since just this morning, I read an article in Bloomberg Business Week about the explosive industry of fake tanning. Explosive as in people paying up to $300 to get spray-tanned in the privacy of their own homes, by people with titles like, “master airbrush tanning guru.” People who charge extra for artistry. Yes. Take a moment to consider that. Me? I’ll wait, right over here, among the ruins of our society, don’t mind me, la la la. Did I mention the woman who holds spray-tan training seminars, costing $2000? Seminars, held virtually ever weekend in cities like Dallas, L.A., Miami and New York? Seminars… that are packed?  

Listen, you can just go ahead and say: damn right I’m jealous. But, I’m not going to become a spray-tanning artist. I never was good at coloring within the lines. But I am obsessed with people using their potential, spray-tanned or not, and who’s to say who can and can’t be a guru? Not me. (And yes, still very jealous…)