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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I think that bad jobs are like bad relationships in that, no matter how frustrated you are, if you want them to improve, you still have to put in the time and effort. In fact, if you want to escape from either into something better, you definitely have to put in the time and effort. I speak from personal experience here.
A number of years ago, when I was still employed in the (cough cough) "glamorous" and "sexy" world (translation: HAHAHAHA) of TV news (#contradictioninterms), I was working overnight, putting three shows on the air and ignoring the fact that my long-term relationship was in its final dregs. How much of a sexy party was my life!
Waking up at oh, 11pm to be at work by 1am--after the network had yanked our car service, so riding the subway at midnight--to put three fairly unwatchable news shows on the air, all the while, lucky me, "dating" someone whom I no longer had any interest in, and nothing in common with. Dating someone whom, not only did we bore each other...we pretty well disliked each other. Party!
To say I had a bad attitude at that point in my life, is similar to saying that Hitler wasn't super fond of Jews. I was deeply cranky. And I felt that everyone I worked with should experience my crankiness. (Meanwhile, at work, I had been "promoted" because my superior had a heart-attack between shows, so as the EMT team was working him know, to keep the guy alive... the executive producer yelled at me to take over, dammit, what the hell are you waiting for, Carlota? I say, "promoted" because I got a ton more work, but no more money or a better title.)
On top of this hot mess, to make sure that my career would really take off, I would trudge in wearing...oh, sweatpants, sneakers, no makeup. Or, stretchy pants and Birkenstocks. How sexy was I! Yeah, maybe not so much.
If you're read this blog before, you know how this story ended: law school, law school debt, break up, skin-tight jeans, happily ever after.
But happily ever after doesn't just happen. And my point is, while I just wanted to get the hell out...there was another way. I also could have, simply, changed my attitude, changed my wardrobe, broken up with that boy...and re-worked my career. I could have put in the time and effort to staying in TV, and fixing my relationship with my employer. I could have stopped being the wicked witch of the west's BFF. I could have had a single non-passive-aggressive conversation with the then-boyfriend, and ended it. #crazy!
For me, honestly, years later...I wouldn't trade a thing.
But if you're reading this at home, and thinking about how you'd like to improve things in your own personal/professional life, and perhaps be slightly less dramatic (#insane) about're going to have to start working on your relationships. Today. Right now. You're going to have to clean yourself up, and demonstrate a positive attitude. You're going to have to invest in solving problems. You can't allow yourself to wallow, you have to fix it. And that seems somewhat counter intuitive, right, since, when you hate your work, or your boyfriend, all you want to do is wallow. Why would you bother to dress up when the boy never notices, right? Why work late when the boss never acknowledges all the hard work? Because, and here's the point: you have to change your mentality. You have to be the one who notices. You have to start thinking differently to improve or even escape your situation. And "thinking differently" won't just's like inspiration, sometimes you have to jump-start it. "Thinking differently" won't just happen, but wallowing in self-pity, and all of the inherent destructiveness will. You can waste years that way. Years you won't get back. Don't do it; it's not a hot look.

Want some ideas about how to start thinking differently? Email me! 

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