Make Your Own Luck, Part II

Continuing on with our series (...saga?) about ways not to sabotage yourself, here's a novel idea: When you say or do something stupid, apologize sincerely and move on.  I know, I'm crazy like that. Whoa, mama! I believe in taking responsibility when I say something stupid and apologizing. But apparently I am crazy like that, because, just yesterday for example, I received an email from a certain crazy man who had previously cursed me to the high heavens for not returning his clippings. Now, that I had returned said clippings and apparently redeemed myself as a human, he emailed me again, not mentioning his un-medicated, un-scripted outburst, and proceeded to quote Shakespeare.

Well, I enjoy Shakespeare also... but I much prefer people who are somewhat stable adults; those are the people whom I am going to focus this business on. I worked with enough raging, moronic bi-polar types in TV news, thanks. I'm set.

Some of you are thinking, "Wow, it must be so wonderful to be perfect, Carlota, sorry I'm trying to make it here on Planet Earth!" Simma down, I never said I was perfect, nor wanted to be. Perfection tends to be very boring. I'm one, overly-sarcastic woman with not enough cats. In fact, just this week, I truly mortified myself by saying something highly offensive to a client. I experienced that level of mortification wherein time stops and you see slowly, oh so slowly, your life passing you by. (Note to self: This time, don't buy the Wham! Make It Big album. Just don't.) But I am an adult, so I apologized. Profusely. My client, being far more mature than me, accepted my apology in the most gracious way possible. I did NOT ignore it, or blame it on someone else or quote Chekhov. It's not Chekhov's fault, I behaved poorly. (True story: Russians of a certain generation will sarcastically invoke Pushkin to make a point, as in, "So who do you think is going to clean up this mess? Pushkin?! Pushkin's going to clean up your trash?")

Many people talk about achieving their goals, right? The inability or refusal to apologize after hurting other people can really derail your dreams. The world is very small. If you're going to be that kind of malicious douche, news gets around. I'm sure that crazy man who emailed me Shakespeare genuinely believes we're BFFs again and that soon we'll be hanging out, and all is well. Or, at least that's what he told himself. Me, I'm a simple girl and I don't lie to myself. Because that's the worst kind of sabotage.

Want some help achieving your goals? (You can quote Shakespeare to me, if that's what gets you going...) Email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consult!

Make Your Own Luck

I know; that sounds like a line of bad TV dramedy dialogue...but I do have an excellent, non-cheesy point. One of the many, oh so many things this business has taught me is that half the battle is getting out of your own way. If you can actually identify your mistakes, learn from them and thus avoid constantly re-enacting them, you have a much better than average chance of succeeding. Sound simple? I say, "Ha!" in your general direction.

Just yesterday I received a furious, snarling email from an "acquaintance," basically wishing death and dishonor upon me, as well as promising to speak to my father (ominous music here), because...welp, because I had not returned his shopping bag full of clippings sooner. Oh my. I know, dear hearts. I know that really he was furious and frustrated that neither I, nor the world, had given him the love, affection and affirmation that he so greatly desires, and he was unable to articulate that to himself, since self-knowledge is painful, and it was so much easier to unleash that anger upon others. Like me. Alas. I have a hard time feeling anything but pity for this humanoid, since last time I checked, he couldn't even figure out how to get onto LinkedIn's website, so I doubt he's truly going to change the business world. Doubtful.

There was also, recently, the twenty-something "film-maker" whom a dear friend suggested I contact for a project I have coming up. Except the kid never returned my email, and when my friend gently nudged him, he told her that he had decided he wasn't interested and that he was "too busy." Really? Too busy working double-shifts at the restaurant where he waits tables? Too busy to even respond to an email and find out what exactly I was offering? For all he knew, I could have been scouting for a photog to shoot the birth of Kim & Kanye's spawn and I was going to pay him in solid gold doubloons and glitter. But apparently this kid made a choice: he's choosing to be a waiter who sometimes shoots film projects, rather than a film-maker who occasionally has to wait tables. See the difference?

Not to toot my own horn, but I networked myself a career in TV news from Moscow, Russia to Washington, D.C. to NYC simply by following up on every single contact I made, and turning each opportunity into a job. I left NBC News in Russia with a list of names, and in D.C., I called each one of those names and within weeks I was working at Fox, and then CNN and then I sold my soul and the rest is history. I was very hungry. I was also 24. I didn't wait tables. I didn't make excuses. I covered network news, bitches! What the hell else is there to do in the swamp known as D.C.? (If you say "date," um you haven't lived there. Good luck with that. #thehorror)

So, my point is, if you want to succeed, get out of your own way. Don't presume you know what any potential contact might have for you. Don't alienate people because of your own issues...it's a small world. You might regret that email sent in anger. Don't decide that you won't get a certain job, or that you don't know anyone who can help you...without at least spending 5 damn minutes doing some research. Ask around. Schmooze. So many people are so blind to all the opportunities they already have within their own list of Facebook friends, even as they complain about their careers or lack thereof. No me gusta. 

Want some help creating the opportunities you need? Damn right you do! Like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation, or email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com.