You Say ‘Opportunistic,’ Like it’s a Bad Thing

That thought came to me recently, as I was trolling through one of the Facebook pages devoted to my college, Wellesley. A recent graduate was looking for professional advice on how to approach an older person in her industry whom she suspected could be an excellent mentor, but she was leery of appearing, in her own words, "opportunistic." Whoa now. When did opportunism become such a bad thing? I must have missed that memo. I honestly believe that opportunism is one of those words that some people use to make women feel bad about being ambitious. Those people are going to have to try a whole lot harder with me.

I mean, if you think networking, researching and all the hard work that goes into creating the (professional) opportunities you need to succeed are bad, well, I suppose you can stay in your job that you probably loathe but took out of fear. *waving* I’ll miss you. (#noiwont). Because listen: I have six-figures of law school debt, a small business to run and two cats who refuse to work. I enjoy eating every day. I’d rather spend this Christmas in Thailand than Queens. I’ve been rich and I’ve been broke as a joke, and last time I checked, rich was better. 

Also, as a feminist and a humanist, I personally want to live in a world wherein every single person has the opportunities they need to educate themselves and ultimately achieve their fullest potential. That’s my fantasy; humor me. Humor me with the idea of a world wherein all people are well-educated, and well-read and bored by the moronic actions of Kim Kardashian's vagina, but instead wake up in the morning, excited to be the change they want in the world. Some of you are reading this thinking, “Okay, hippie, good luck with that.” Thank you! Are there even hippies left, or are they all making their own craft beer in Brooklyn, and naming their (white) children "Havana" and baking vegan biscuits for their dogs. That's a shame.

No,  I’m just a humanist. I want everyone to have the same opportunities to achieve. So you can call me an opportunist, but I prefer to think of it as a refusal to accept your "No," as my personal final answer.

I’ve never understood people who use "opportunist"in a derogatory manner. Who doesn’t want the opportunity to live your truest, most passionate life on a daily basis? Listen, I spent years working in network news, hating myself for having to cut teases of water-skiing squirrels, as “complex” personalities flubbed their live-shots and threw things at me. Between that repressed memory experience and living in Russia and surviving law school, and being engaged twice, I feel like I’m done my time in hell, thanks.  Now I’d like to use my time left on this planet to help people live their fullest, most authentic lives. So if that makes me an opportunist, i.e. a human begin determined to help you figure out your potential and then create a realistic strategy to bring that potential to fruition…? Well, no sweat, America. Just make sure the check clears. 

Want some real help to figure out how to create the opportunities you need? Of course you do, Sunshine! Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation. 

Besos,

C.

The Art of Being Unforgettable: How Networking Can Create Any Opportunity

Whatever stage your career is in, from nascent to experienced, your ability to network, to visualize and then realize the professional opportunities you need, will determine how far it, and you, can eventually go. We live in a period of almost unparalleled intellectual freedom and access to anyone, anywhere. The world is getting dramatically smaller, even as our horizons get larger. If there’s a career you want, nowadays, it’s up to you to create it. Excited, yet?

Spend a Saturday morning with Creativity Yenta ™ Carlota Zimmerman learning, step-by-step, exactly how to use all of the talents and resources you already have to create the job you most desperately desire. Topics to be covered include: creating a LinkedIn profile both relevant and helpful to your chosen industry; using social media to generate brand-boosting content; networking both in person and online; why getting that great internship isn’t enough; how and why to network at different stages of your career and why it’s imperative that you just get started. Today. Now. (I'm looking at you, Sunshine.)

http://www.eventbrite.com/event/6762451675# 

Carlota is a graduate of Wellesley College and IUB Maurer School of Law. Before launching her coaching business in 2008, she was a produced playwright. Upon graduating Wellesley, she worked in network news for ABC, CNN, MSNBC and FOX at bureaus in Russia and the United States. As a law student, she served an internship with Sen. Clinton’s immigration department, and clerked for Judge Michael Obus of the NY State Supreme Court.  She has lived and worked in New York, Washington, D.C., Russia, India and China. (Guess how many of the above-mentioned opportunities she networked? Exactly.) Carlota absolutely loves helping her clients change their minds to change their professional lives. She’s somewhat less thrilled to be discussing herself in the third person.  Become a fan of her Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” for a complimentary consultation!

Make Your Own Luck

I know; that sounds like a line of bad TV dramedy dialogue...but I do have an excellent, non-cheesy point. One of the many, oh so many things this business has taught me is that half the battle is getting out of your own way. If you can actually identify your mistakes, learn from them and thus avoid constantly re-enacting them, you have a much better than average chance of succeeding. Sound simple? I say, "Ha!" in your general direction.

Just yesterday I received a furious, snarling email from an "acquaintance," basically wishing death and dishonor upon me, as well as promising to speak to my father (ominous music here), because...welp, because I had not returned his shopping bag full of clippings sooner. Oh my. I know, dear hearts. I know that really he was furious and frustrated that neither I, nor the world, had given him the love, affection and affirmation that he so greatly desires, and he was unable to articulate that to himself, since self-knowledge is painful, and it was so much easier to unleash that anger upon others. Like me. Alas. I have a hard time feeling anything but pity for this humanoid, since last time I checked, he couldn't even figure out how to get onto LinkedIn's website, so I doubt he's truly going to change the business world. Doubtful.

There was also, recently, the twenty-something "film-maker" whom a dear friend suggested I contact for a project I have coming up. Except the kid never returned my email, and when my friend gently nudged him, he told her that he had decided he wasn't interested and that he was "too busy." Really? Too busy working double-shifts at the restaurant where he waits tables? Too busy to even respond to an email and find out what exactly I was offering? For all he knew, I could have been scouting for a photog to shoot the birth of Kim & Kanye's spawn and I was going to pay him in solid gold doubloons and glitter. But apparently this kid made a choice: he's choosing to be a waiter who sometimes shoots film projects, rather than a film-maker who occasionally has to wait tables. See the difference?

Not to toot my own horn, but I networked myself a career in TV news from Moscow, Russia to Washington, D.C. to NYC simply by following up on every single contact I made, and turning each opportunity into a job. I left NBC News in Russia with a list of names, and in D.C., I called each one of those names and within weeks I was working at Fox, and then CNN and then I sold my soul and the rest is history. I was very hungry. I was also 24. I didn't wait tables. I didn't make excuses. I covered network news, bitches! What the hell else is there to do in the swamp known as D.C.? (If you say "date," um you haven't lived there. Good luck with that. #thehorror)

So, my point is, if you want to succeed, get out of your own way. Don't presume you know what any potential contact might have for you. Don't alienate people because of your own issues...it's a small world. You might regret that email sent in anger. Don't decide that you won't get a certain job, or that you don't know anyone who can help you...without at least spending 5 damn minutes doing some research. Ask around. Schmooze. So many people are so blind to all the opportunities they already have within their own list of Facebook friends, even as they complain about their careers or lack thereof. No me gusta. 

Want some help creating the opportunities you need? Damn right you do! Like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation, or email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com.

E-Z Networking in 3 Steps!

I tortured coached a client last night, making her present to me her networking pitch over and over and over again till I’m sure now she’s re-thinking her plan to transition her career…or at least to attempt to do so with me. But honestly, she was a trooper, with a great attitude…despite making me feel extremely f**king old when,  in regards to a great anecdote  she told about a Wellesley College internship leading to her present job, she said, “Oh…but I graduated in ’08. God that’s years and years ago.” Eons ago. Now I haz an old.

But she, as I said, had a great attitude and really worked on getting her networking pitch down. It is kind of funny, when you think about it, how much time and energy we spend on perfecting our networking pitches, and trying to appear calm, relaxed and human at these networking events…because really: aren’t we always networking? When we meet friends of friends at a dinner party…or our favorite barista introduces us to another coffee-shop patron and we make smiling small talk about how good her caffeine-concoctions are…or when I see which comedians my friends on Facebook are following, and I start following them myself… or when I ask a stranger in the pharmacy where she got those fantastic bright mauve 4” heel booties, and she gives me detailed instructions on how to find them? All of those incidents are a form of networking, and, more importantly, they’re also forms of human interactions. It’s simply that in some circumstances we allow ourselves to relax, and in others we feel that we must go in and work the room like a mother**ker, thus immediately getting the best job ever… and suddenly, it’s 1am and we’re drunk, realizing that the only stranger we spoke to all night was the bartender. But bartenders need love also, so no worries.

I’m going to a Seven Sisters networking event tonight—primarily to make sure certain clients show up, but also to drink, for once, among people who don’t happen to be 1) orange, 2) or have a tail, 3) or be feline—so here’s my 3 E-Z Hints for Capable Networking:

1.      Let your goals dictate your means. Therefore, if you’re attempting to get a better job within, say, the tech industry, you probably wouldn’t go to a networking event aimed at lawyers. (Not, of course, because lawyers don’t have tremendous social skills and aren’t fun, easy-going welcoming people…snort. No. Not at all.) So in your mind, make a list of what you’re trying to accomplish by said networking, so you plot out strategy aimed at making you, eventually, successful instead of making it up as you go and ending up grumpy. And drunk. #nothating

2.       Be able to introduce yourself and explain what you to do to anyone, even my (cranky) Abuelita Pastora, if she were 1) still alive and 2) cared. Don’t give me that, “Well I work in a very rarefied field” horseshit. #STFU  If you can’t make eye contact, and, with a smile on your face, explain what exactly it is you do…how can you expect anyone else to listen…or care…or consider hiring you? When did we stop teaching social skills and why do I now, again, sound like your grandpa? If you cannot communicate your skills, I’m going to assume you don’t have any. (Or, as my fave theater teacher said, “Perhaps you’ve heard that life isn’t fair.” #whompwhomp) Also, Pumpkin: the people at the top, the people who frequently hire, they usually have no idea what today’s more technical positions entail. (True story: When he was president, Bill Clinton didn’t know how to send emails. Fmr. President George W. Bush couldn’t load music onto his own iPod. His valet had to do it! Why do I still have brain cells devoted to his crap, when I can barely remember the name of the boy I hung out with two weekends ago! …Vincent? Maybe Jake? It’s gone.)

3.       Communicate, don’t lecture! Read people’s body language. Don’t interrupt conversations already on-going, because, last time I checked, that’s probably not going to win you friends in high places. Use a little common-sense and understand that everyone there is pretty much in the same boat as you are: they don’t wish to be there; they’d rather be home, on the sofa, partially-nude, watching “Portlandia,” but, at the same time, they’d like to improve their professional career. So do unto others as you’d have them do unto you: smile. Ask people questions about themselves. If you can help someone, do so…that’ll win you brownie points till the cows come on. And, for the love of Jebus, have some kind of business card to give to people, since writing your info on pieces of paper torn from your wallet does not look as super professional as your might think. Even my Abuelita Pastora would say, “That sh*t no es bueno.” If she was alive today. And if she cared.  #Noandmoreno

Want more E-Z Advice? You know you do! Like my Facebook page, “Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta,” for a free 50 minute consultation, or email me at carlotazee@gmail.com!

I promise: I’m not one of those people who believe social media can solve all our societal ills, though it is pretty great how it lets me flirt with men around the world. Whoa, where’d that come from? No one wants to hear about my dirty life and times…right?*shifty eyes.* Anyways homies, my point being, while social media can’t/won’t/shouldn’t solve all of our problems… if used properly, it can give you immediate access to people in a way that once would have been unimaginable. That access to people can then be turned into this amazing thing called…opportunities! #tahdah

For example, say you’re looking for a job. Humor me and let’s pretend you’re on LinkedIn with an industry-appropriate profile, a professional photo, no spelling mistakes and no recommendations from people who seem to be writing, badly, in ancient Sumerian. Continue humoring me—come on, I’m a cute girl—that you’ve joined groups on LinkedIn relevant to your education, professional associations, honor societies, and the like. Not only joined but contribute to, communicate with, participate in. Maybe you even, Allah willing, attend alumni events. #whoa Maybe you even help out other alumni, thus creating good karma for yourself. #burstingintosong

Okay, so you’re a trooper, you’re a champion…so, why not make a video, using Google+ for example—I’m currently crushing hard on Google+ till it wants to commit and I get bored…sigh—in which you give me, the viewer and potential employer, a little taste of you, your education, your personality and most important: YOUR PASSION. I guarantee that, unless you’re trying to be a brain surgeon—in which case…why are you reading this? Shouldn’t you be saving someone’s life right about now?—passion is (almost) always going to triumph over expertise. When people are hiring, they’re thinking about which candidate is going to come to work smiling, presentable, intelligible and with a great attitude and the desire to make the company money. No one wants to spend 8 hours a day with an asshole: f**k, these people are married, they get enough shit and mind-games at home! 

So why not make a short—translation: NOT DOWNTOWN ABBEY—video in your living room, for example, wearing a nice suit, or a feminine dress, comb your hair, smile and tell me a little bit about you, as it relates to the industry you’re interested in. Tell me all about your relevant skills, your unique experience and education, your passion and of course, how to reach you. Then, you could link that video to your LinkedIn status, put it on Google+, even Tweet it (oh, be still my beating heart), and, why the hell not, post it on your Facebook page and ask your friends to let you know if they have any industry contacts.

B*tch, do not even give me that side-eye. You can over-share on Facebook about your (boring) child or your half-baked political “thoughts”…but you can’t help your friends to help you by explaining why you should be hired? Maybe you were planning on faxing that resume? Hey, it’s only 2013…maybe by 2020, you’ll have heard of this thing called THE FUTURE! #grumpy   Every time you fax you make the Internet cry, but okay, be that way, live with yourself.  

Want more snark/ideas/nagging? Oh of course you do... Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, or become a fan of my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!

Besos,

C.

F**k Hurricane Sandy, You Still Need a Job

You're right: I am a little cranky. Not because I'm worried about Queens getting destroyed in Sandy's maw--honestly, I can't assume that as a single girl hurricane that she'd want all the related ish of the outer boroughs in her life--but I could do without the media whipping the population into a frenzy of fear and loathing and consumption of too much Nutella. Remember when we used to have leaders who grit their teeth, and counseled us that the only thing we had to fear was fear itself, and with that attitude we won World War Two and thus avoided having to learn German? Yeah, me neither...but I could still do without a bleed-and-lead "news" cycle aimed at making me want to trade in all my stockpiled weapons for bottled water and Oreo ice-cream, and live perpetually in fear. (The Kitten just read this opening and is all,"...and how exactly does this tie into helping people get a job?" Re-read the headline, you little orange b*tch.)

Anyhoo... now you're holed up in your hovel, with your significant other or his brother or whoever else was on Craigslist...and guess what? You still need a damn job. I mean, even if you had one in NYC today, you couldn't reach it, since Hizzoner shut down the MTA (#redundant)...but you're (probably) home, you're (probably) single, so you might as well spend part of this day, assuming you haven't had to evacuate, doing something productive--besides getting laid, obviously--and improve your job search. 

Recently, I had a client who was interested in getting hired as a hotel concierge for VIPs at some swanky hotel. Background: a hotel concierge can be expected to do everything from making dinner reservations, to picking up dry cleaning, to retrieving lost laptops and other luggage from across the globe, getting last-minute tickets to the World Series, etc. etc. More generally, a hotel concierge is expected to welcome guests to the hotel and to provide an insider's knowledge about the facility, the city and all the types of options available to the guest. The more expensive a hotel, the more complex talents a hotel concierge is expected to provide. Therefore, for someone detail-oriented, for someone who has excellent communication skills, and is used to performing at a very high level of customer relations...the job of a hotel concierge can be a challenging, if highly rewarding position. 

Since my client didn't have a lot of personal knowledge about the field, some of the first things I wanted her to do was to educate herself about the job, so as to be eventually able to re-write and re-position both her resume, and far more importantly, her LinkedIn profile, as relevant to the hotel/tourism industry human resources people, who would would be hiring for such positions.

What follows are some of the assignments I gave my client...feel free to go crazy. (And even if you're not looking for a job as a hotel concierge, you might find these ideas travel very well to other fields...hint hint!)

 1. What exactly does a hotel concierge do? What sort of skills/education/experience does one need, and how can we "translate" the skills you already have? Let's start by Googling "hotel concierge," check out the industry/job descriptions on Monster, Vault, and also reference a few hotel websites (http://www.nycparamount.com/careers), the W, Hilton, Marriott, to get an idea of which companies if any might be hiring, and whom they're looking for. This is an excellent time to create daily "search agents" on Monster.com and Vault.com, as to to be alerted when these types of positions become available. I would also suggest you then go on LinkedIn.com, and start "following" the companies which are hiring hotel concierges, so that you know immediately when they have openings. 

2. Start a list of all the "buzz words" or "key words" that are repeatedly coming up in your searches and job descriptions for hotel concierge, in order that we may re-write your resume to include all those words and thus help your resume eventually get read and reviewed by an actual human. You should also start working on a rough cover letter, highlighting your extensive organizational skills; your ability to be gracious and resourceful under pressure; your "people" skills, your superior communication abilities, etc..

3. Next, I would advise you to carefully work your way through your  Facebook and LinkedIn contacts, checking to see if you know anyone who works in the hotel trade. Since networking is always far more powerful than passively sending in resumes to an email address, I would strongly suggest you speak to anyone and everyone you know who works in this industry. You need to get over your shame cycle right now and let everyone you know in on this search. If you're willing to post on Facebook, that you're looking for a job as a hotel concierge in the NYC area, and give a couple of sentences describing your relevant experience as well as what exactly you're looking for, and asking people who have contacts to email you, you could be even more successful. The bigger you go with your search, the bigger your results.

These are just some ideas to get you started thinking differently about your potential employment search...as well as your opportunities. If, for example, you really follow those steps and look closely through your Facebook and LinkedIn connections, I'm sure you'll be surprised by how many people you know in any given industry you might be interested in transitioning to. And what if you have no contacts, no ideas whatsoever?

Well, you could always email me @carlotazee@gmail.com. After all, Hurricane Sandy will eventually go away, but you're still gonna need that job...and I'll still be here, waiting to help you get it...