(Not-so)Secret Talents

Let's face it: so much of life is getting up the courage to create the life we desire. So much of life, therefore, is getting out of our own way, ignoring that insidious voice inside, advising you to give up before you start, and instead, believing that you're worth the effort, because what you have to contribute is valuable...because you are valuable.

But once you get started, the process does get easier, and over time, it hardly becomes a process anymore. It becomes an act of liberation. This will surprise some of you sports fans, but when I originally started this blog, it was a top-secret blog. Only two or three humans, besides myself, knew about it. (The cats were indifferent.)

I would write something and my dear friends would read it and be supportive. At that time in my life, the idea that I had good, I'm sorry, FANTASTIC ideas which other people would pay U.S. currency for, was far too outlandish for me to seriously consider....and look at me now! Blogging about my business, my ideas, my vagina, my dating history, the orange Kitten...hmm, or are those all the same thing? Only my subconscious knows for sure. (Insert here the sound of many men thinking, "I really need to catch up on my reading right about now.")

So, let's say you, at home, have this "crazy" idea of creating a video resume, which you would post on LinkedIn and thus start creating the professional opportunities you desire. GO FOR IT! Use that smartphone or iPad for something actually smart and, while wearing a nice top, with your hair combed, maybe even some makeup, and a big, beautiful smile, give a 01:30 pitch about yourself and your professional passion. Let yourself sparkle.

Then, you can keep the video on your phone/iPad/whatever for as long as it takes you to get comfortable with yourself. Maybe you'll shoot 5 more. #livealittle Share your work with your "inner circle;" those friends and family, in whatever form, who truly love you (and thus love your deepest potential) and want you to be the amazing person you desperately want to be. You know who those people are: they're the people who take great photos of you, and nurture you and fight for you in a thousand different ways..even when you can't fight for yourself. I know you have those people, but if you're feeling poopy, welp, liking my Facebook page did get you a free consultation, right? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? OMG, send that video to me! I'd love it!

But, you freak out, it won't be perfect! Well, thank Jebus, since the last time I worried about being perfect was when I was anorexic and weighed 107 lbs. PS: I still "knew" I was fat. Sexy!

I don't want perfection; I want you to be your most authentic self. I want you to think you're awesome just the way you are! (Unless you're a fan of DooWop music. Sorry. I try to be supportive of everyone but seriously, I can't. I have standards. Oh, stop laughing: I do.) You know who wants you to be "perfect"? PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU! Because perfection is a lie, and it wastes your time, and thus your life. So if you need yourself to be "perfect" before you're able to emotionally invest in yourself...um, no me gusta.

How many wonderful things have been created through huge mistakes? True story: Woody Allen's masterpiece, "Annie Hall," came about because the editor re-edited the movie into what he thought was a much more organic version. Think of your favorite author, or actor, for example: they didn't start out as the star you admire, they had to grow into that person. Whom could you grow into, I wonder? (Also, is it too late for The Kitten to grow into a cat who isn't such a b*tch? For reals.)

Want some help unearthing those secret talents? Email me at carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation.

I promise: I’m not one of those people who believe social media can solve all our societal ills, though it is pretty great how it lets me flirt with men around the world. Whoa, where’d that come from? No one wants to hear about my dirty life and times…right?*shifty eyes.* Anyways homies, my point being, while social media can’t/won’t/shouldn’t solve all of our problems… if used properly, it can give you immediate access to people in a way that once would have been unimaginable. That access to people can then be turned into this amazing thing called…opportunities! #tahdah

For example, say you’re looking for a job. Humor me and let’s pretend you’re on LinkedIn with an industry-appropriate profile, a professional photo, no spelling mistakes and no recommendations from people who seem to be writing, badly, in ancient Sumerian. Continue humoring me—come on, I’m a cute girl—that you’ve joined groups on LinkedIn relevant to your education, professional associations, honor societies, and the like. Not only joined but contribute to, communicate with, participate in. Maybe you even, Allah willing, attend alumni events. #whoa Maybe you even help out other alumni, thus creating good karma for yourself. #burstingintosong

Okay, so you’re a trooper, you’re a champion…so, why not make a video, using Google+ for example—I’m currently crushing hard on Google+ till it wants to commit and I get bored…sigh—in which you give me, the viewer and potential employer, a little taste of you, your education, your personality and most important: YOUR PASSION. I guarantee that, unless you’re trying to be a brain surgeon—in which case…why are you reading this? Shouldn’t you be saving someone’s life right about now?—passion is (almost) always going to triumph over expertise. When people are hiring, they’re thinking about which candidate is going to come to work smiling, presentable, intelligible and with a great attitude and the desire to make the company money. No one wants to spend 8 hours a day with an asshole: f**k, these people are married, they get enough shit and mind-games at home! 

So why not make a short—translation: NOT DOWNTOWN ABBEY—video in your living room, for example, wearing a nice suit, or a feminine dress, comb your hair, smile and tell me a little bit about you, as it relates to the industry you’re interested in. Tell me all about your relevant skills, your unique experience and education, your passion and of course, how to reach you. Then, you could link that video to your LinkedIn status, put it on Google+, even Tweet it (oh, be still my beating heart), and, why the hell not, post it on your Facebook page and ask your friends to let you know if they have any industry contacts.

B*tch, do not even give me that side-eye. You can over-share on Facebook about your (boring) child or your half-baked political “thoughts”…but you can’t help your friends to help you by explaining why you should be hired? Maybe you were planning on faxing that resume? Hey, it’s only 2013…maybe by 2020, you’ll have heard of this thing called THE FUTURE! #grumpy   Every time you fax you make the Internet cry, but okay, be that way, live with yourself.  

Want more snark/ideas/nagging? Oh of course you do... Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, or become a fan of my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!

Besos,

C.