I promise: I’m not one of those people who believe social
media can solve all our societal ills, though it is pretty great how it lets me
flirt with men around the world. Whoa, where’d that come from? No one wants to
hear about my dirty life and times…right?*shifty eyes.* Anyways homies, my
point being, while social media can’t/won’t/shouldn’t solve all of our problems…
if used properly, it can give you immediate access to people in a way that once
would have been unimaginable. That access to people can then be turned into
this amazing thing called…opportunities! #tahdah
For example, say you’re looking for a job. Humor me and let’s
pretend you’re on LinkedIn with an industry-appropriate profile, a professional
photo, no spelling mistakes and no recommendations from people who seem to be
writing, badly, in ancient Sumerian. Continue humoring me—come on, I’m a cute
girl—that you’ve joined groups on LinkedIn relevant to your education,
professional associations, honor societies, and the like. Not only joined but
contribute to, communicate with, participate in. Maybe you even, Allah willing,
attend alumni events. #whoa Maybe you even help out other alumni, thus creating
good karma for yourself. #burstingintosong
Okay, so you’re a trooper, you’re a champion…so, why not
make a video, using Google+ for example—I’m currently crushing hard on Google+
till it wants to commit and I get bored…sigh—in which you give me, the viewer
and potential employer, a little taste of you, your education, your personality
and most important: YOUR PASSION. I guarantee that, unless you’re trying to be
a brain surgeon—in which case…why are you reading this? Shouldn’t you be saving
someone’s life right about now?—passion is (almost) always going to triumph
over expertise. When people are hiring, they’re thinking about which candidate
is going to come to work smiling, presentable, intelligible and with a great
attitude and the desire to make the company money. No one wants to spend 8
hours a day with an asshole: f**k, these people are married, they get enough
shit and mind-games at home!
So why not make a short—translation: NOT DOWNTOWN ABBEY—video
in your living room, for example, wearing a nice suit, or a feminine dress,
comb your hair, smile and tell me a little bit about you, as it relates to the
industry you’re interested in. Tell me all about your relevant skills, your
unique experience and education, your passion and of course, how to reach you.
Then, you could link that video to your LinkedIn status, put it on Google+,
even Tweet it (oh, be still my beating heart), and, why the hell not, post it
on your Facebook page and ask your friends to let you know if they have any
industry contacts.
B*tch, do not even give me that side-eye. You can over-share
on Facebook about your (boring) child or your half-baked political “thoughts”…but
you can’t help your friends to help you by explaining why you should be hired? Maybe
you were planning on faxing that resume? Hey, it’s only 2013…maybe by 2020, you’ll
have heard of this thing called THE FUTURE! #grumpy Every
time you fax you make the Internet cry, but okay, be that way, live with
yourself.
Want more snark/ideas/nagging? Oh of course you do... Email me
@carlotazee@gmail.com, or become a fan of my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!
Besos,
C.
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