(Not-so)Secret Talents

Let's face it: so much of life is getting up the courage to create the life we desire. So much of life, therefore, is getting out of our own way, ignoring that insidious voice inside, advising you to give up before you start, and instead, believing that you're worth the effort, because what you have to contribute is valuable...because you are valuable.

But once you get started, the process does get easier, and over time, it hardly becomes a process anymore. It becomes an act of liberation. This will surprise some of you sports fans, but when I originally started this blog, it was a top-secret blog. Only two or three humans, besides myself, knew about it. (The cats were indifferent.)

I would write something and my dear friends would read it and be supportive. At that time in my life, the idea that I had good, I'm sorry, FANTASTIC ideas which other people would pay U.S. currency for, was far too outlandish for me to seriously consider....and look at me now! Blogging about my business, my ideas, my vagina, my dating history, the orange Kitten...hmm, or are those all the same thing? Only my subconscious knows for sure. (Insert here the sound of many men thinking, "I really need to catch up on my reading right about now.")

So, let's say you, at home, have this "crazy" idea of creating a video resume, which you would post on LinkedIn and thus start creating the professional opportunities you desire. GO FOR IT! Use that smartphone or iPad for something actually smart and, while wearing a nice top, with your hair combed, maybe even some makeup, and a big, beautiful smile, give a 01:30 pitch about yourself and your professional passion. Let yourself sparkle.

Then, you can keep the video on your phone/iPad/whatever for as long as it takes you to get comfortable with yourself. Maybe you'll shoot 5 more. #livealittle Share your work with your "inner circle;" those friends and family, in whatever form, who truly love you (and thus love your deepest potential) and want you to be the amazing person you desperately want to be. You know who those people are: they're the people who take great photos of you, and nurture you and fight for you in a thousand different ways..even when you can't fight for yourself. I know you have those people, but if you're feeling poopy, welp, liking my Facebook page did get you a free consultation, right? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? OMG, send that video to me! I'd love it!

But, you freak out, it won't be perfect! Well, thank Jebus, since the last time I worried about being perfect was when I was anorexic and weighed 107 lbs. PS: I still "knew" I was fat. Sexy!

I don't want perfection; I want you to be your most authentic self. I want you to think you're awesome just the way you are! (Unless you're a fan of DooWop music. Sorry. I try to be supportive of everyone but seriously, I can't. I have standards. Oh, stop laughing: I do.) You know who wants you to be "perfect"? PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU! Because perfection is a lie, and it wastes your time, and thus your life. So if you need yourself to be "perfect" before you're able to emotionally invest in yourself...um, no me gusta.

How many wonderful things have been created through huge mistakes? True story: Woody Allen's masterpiece, "Annie Hall," came about because the editor re-edited the movie into what he thought was a much more organic version. Think of your favorite author, or actor, for example: they didn't start out as the star you admire, they had to grow into that person. Whom could you grow into, I wonder? (Also, is it too late for The Kitten to grow into a cat who isn't such a b*tch? For reals.)

Want some help unearthing those secret talents? Email me at carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation.

Why not You?

If nothing else, if I could get all my clients/humans everywhere to understand that perfection is one of the biggest time-wasters… I’d be (somewhat) satisfied. And I say this as a former anorexic, so I know all about how damaging the search for perfection can really be. I’m thinking about perfection—and how boring it is—because so frequently I find clients use the ideal of perfection, and conversely, their lack thereof, to stop themselves from starting important things.  These are the same clients who look at me and say something like, “I mean, maybe if I knew as much as you do about business….” And then, inwardly, I sort of grimly chuckle because, once again: I was a history major in college, who then moved to Russia, fell into TV news, did very well, left to go to law school, graduated with enough debt to buy a third-rate African dictator a decent McMansion, and finally started this business because people kept asking me for my advice and then referring me to their friends… and, oh yes: the cats won’t work.  My point being, to quote Homer Simpson, “I was told there’d be no math.” I knew from nothing about business.  History? I can talk to you for days about Stalin’s purges, or the Siege of Lenningrad, for example…but business? Um, not so much.

But I figured if so many other idiots people could give completely retarded advice coach…well, I actually had good ideas, and realistic solutions to problems so…why not me? What was the worst that could happen? I’d make a mistake? And, nu? So what? I’ve worked for Nancy Grace, for f**k’s sake.  I’ve attended planning meetings with Nancy Grace. (That right there is guaranteed to let me skip a few reincarnations and achieve Nirvana at least 15 minutes early.)

I wasn’t hooked on perfection when I started this business. I was hooked on helping people. I was hooked on doing something useful and important and valuable.  I thought, “Well, why not me?” And to that end, I’m attaching a link to an amazing excerpt from Carole King’s forthcoming autobiography. Whatever you feel about her music, read the excerpt to savor her stunning confidence, at 18(!!) in herself and her talent. And the next time you start assuming you can’t do something, anything, that actually you, probably better than anyone else on the planet can do…maybe you’ll think of teenaged Carole King shrugging and thinking, “Why not me?” 

http://nymag.com/arts/books/features/carole-king-2012-3/

What do you want?

I know I sometimes sound like someone's memaw or, alternatively, an especially cranky Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, with my insistence on being true to yourself in order to live your most exhilarating and successful life...but just humor me one more time. I'm in the midst of creating a new business project, and to do so, I need investors. In order to get  those investors to actually seriously consider giving me cash, instead of snorting merrily over my proposal, I have to craft my proposal to appeal to them. I have to make it worth their while.
I have to know exactly what I need the money for, and how it will help my business and then I have to make my ideas relevant to the investors.  They have the money, I have the ideas, but if I can't make my ideal appealing/worthwhile/interesting/relevant etc...well, I don't know, maybe one of the damn cats will consider working in a local bodega? (They won't.)
I'm harping on this today because a lot of people say they want X, for example...but they tie themselves into knots chasing Y or Z. And then, when they are repeatedly unsuccessful, instead of considering why perhaps things didn't work out...they put the blame on everything and everyone but themselves.
I, for example, went to law school, since it was far easier to quit my job, uproot my life, take on huge amounts of debt, and embark on three years of being miserably bored by civ pro and the rule against perpetuities (*shudder*), than to just grow a pair and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. So maybe you can guess that when law school didn't make me a shiny, happy person, I blamed everyone but myself...? How much fun was I to be with? So much fun! (Now, I promise you: I may harp on personal responsibility, but I do over cocktails and showing a lot of cleavage.)
I frequently have introductory consulting sessions with prospective clients, and almost immediately I can tell which clients I will be able to help, and which I will not. The clients who are more interested in figuring out what they don't know, and using said knowledge to accomplish their goals? Those are the clients I take on.
The clients who are convinced they know everything there is to know, and if they haven't gotten a job or sold their new product, well its the market's fault...suddenly I'm extremely busy. I have this thing, you know, this thing and um I gotta go. (And the clients who'd rather waste my time flirting, and spend their money on astral chart readings? You're fired!)
Maybe I'm just saying that people are complicated and frequently we don't know what we want. And that's okay, that's part of being alive...but the more honest you are with yourself about why you are doing anything, and what you hope to get out of it...the better your chances of being successful.

If you don't already listen to StoryCorps (www.storycorps.org), this is a great opportunity to discover a small gem of Americana: Americans (husbands and wives, fathers and daughters, neighbors, widowers, killers and the parents of their victims), asking each other questions about lives lived and lessons learned. That sounds unbearably pretentious: the pieces are anything but. This particular piece, in which a father discusses the murder of his daughter, is a perfect example: both heart-breaking and inspiring.
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