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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Love the one you're with: yourself!

I'm taking a break from networking, signing business deals (#likeaboss,son), giving The Kitten nubbins and, most importantly, this: express my sadness that apparently so many people hate Valentine's Day. No me gusta. And before you assume that I'm 8, or that I woke to bouquets of roses and edible panties...meh, not so much. I woke to NPR because I'm sexy like that. In fact, I actually have had several serious boyfriends break up with me because of my inability to be romantic. What can I say: at heart, I'm an over-stimulated teenage boy, with a short attention span and I don't have time for romance! I have time to um (cough cough) get it on, and then baby, it's not me, it's you, you need to go so I can drink wine alone in the bed, in peace and quiet and watch true crime TV with the cats. Simple girl, simple pleasures.

On the other hand, before you judge me, considering my sketchy (at best), taste in men...this is not necessarily a bad thing. Otherwise, you'd be watching my misadventures on Prison Wives, for f**k's sake. And/or, Big Love...assuming I could be the main wife and sign off on all the other wives. Hmm. Note to self. (If you're reading this in Utah and you are tall, blond, hot and not allergic to you doin'? Email me!)

But, I digest.

My point being: Valentine's Day isn't the issue here. The issue is all the horsesh*t we put on Valentine's Day. The way we make people feel that to be single is the worst thing ever. The way we make people feel that having a "relationship" means you're not damaged, and that your life has meaning. The way we make people feel that it's okay to not want to figure themselves out, since that's terrifying, and they have a boyfriend/girlfriend so all is well, everything's cool, don't freak out.

 It's no longer a day to give some flowers and, hopefully, some hot sex to your steady sweetie(s), but a day to overcompensate. So if you're feeling crappy about aspects of your life, Valentine's Day can become a day to have the most amazing romantic experience, dammit, because if nothing else, at least you have a man/woman. At least you're not horribly and painfully alone...right? If nothing else, right, you're doing better than all those pathetic single people...even if you and your man have horrible sex...or you ignore each other the rest of the time...or you're bored by each other and you sext other people or you suspect he least you're having a romantic dinner at Applebee's tonight.

Meanwhile, a lot of single people, instead of intelligently understanding that if you don't make room in your life for a real, loving relationship, if you keep recreating your previous mistakes and "dating" people who are not (emotionally) shall stay single...a lot of single people are all, "Gawd, Valentine's Day sucks!"

I'm kind of exaggerating to make a point...and kind of not. If people could just shut out all the horsesh*t society puts on them--TO SELL roses, cards, chocolates, status--and accept themselves...well, then they'd probably only date/marry people who "get" them, who like to have sex with them, who make them laugh. We'd understand that being single can actually be amazing if you use that period(s) in your life to create a real relationship with yourself, so that when you eventually meet someone who gets you and who is worth your recognize them, and you value them. Because you recognize and value yourself.

So when I say, "Love the one you're with"...yes, I mean love yourself...the one you'll always be with!


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