Wednesday, February 6, 2013
“I had drunk much wine and afterward coffee and Strega and I explained, winefully, how we did not do the things we wanted to do; we never did such things.” – A Farewell to Arms, Hemingway
I am, on the whole, a huge fan of Papa Hemingway—except, you know, when he’s being anti-Semitic, or misogynistic, or just generally being stupid—huge fan of his lovely, sparse prose and his intelligence. And I found myself thinking of the above quote, when I was wasting time on Facebook (#redundant), and noticed various people posting about the huge, on-going issues in their life. (Simma down, I include myself and all my numerous posts about The Kitten and my stupid vagina in that sentence. Relax.) And I wondered how many of those problems were self-created, if you will, because the people posting would rather worry about say, their unhappy marriage, or weight issues, or finding a home…than have to confront their real desires. I mean, it’s much easier, for example, to always be on a diet, and trying to lose weight…than have to confront your fears of dating and intimacy and ending up alone…n’est pas? It’s much easier to deal with your inability to find an apartment, than to have to figure out how you’re going to achieve your professional goals, once you have that stable apartment.
I completely include myself in this, because, in the earliest years of starting this business, I definitely used the start-up process and lifestyle as a way to avoid having to figure out my personal life. (You don’t know this about me but: I was raised to be a workaholic. Working 18+ hours a day, 7 days a week, for weeks and months and even years on end…that’s totally normal for me. Which is why I did so well in TV news. I hated having days off. Relaxing and having fun…I still feel kind of guilty about that.) On the other hand, I’m not suggesting that this business is perfect now, or that my personal life is wonderful—how could it be? I haven’t woken up next to The Rock yet!...oh, my shameful taste in men. Sigh.—but at least I’m trying not to waste time anymore on unimportant crap.
My point being: for many of us, the very thing we want, is the same thing that most terrifies us. And the closer we get to it, the more obstacles we may put in our own way. It’s like those people who say, “Well, once I lose 10 more pounds, then I’m going to date/buy those pants/wear a bikini.” Okay. Or, if you’re one of those people, you could say, “Fuck. That. Noise,” and buy those black pleather stretch-pants today and enjoy your life today, since 5 years from now, you might be confronted with the terrifying realization of how much time you wasted on the small issues, in your efforts to ignore the worthwhile issues.
Want some help figuring out which issues you should be focusing on? Email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org, or visit my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!