31Ways2GetItStarted™!: January 15, 2013

Day 15: Worry Less, Do More!

Contrary to popular belief, I do not have telepathic powers, nor the ability to divine the future. I know: I am also disappointed. Still coming to grips with my inability to control world history. I haz a grumpy.

I state this because quite a few clients ask me, “Is this going to work, are you sure this is going to work?” Um. At this point, I’m only sure only that I’m not sure of anything…oh, excepting Jodie Foster’s sexual orientation. I was sure of that a loooong time before this past weekend’s Golden Globes. Jodie’s “acting” never really put that fact into doubt, if you know what I mean. #meowmeowmeow…meow!

But no, in the larger scheme, I’m not sure that anything is going to lead to anything, except to death and taxes. And cats. Probably, definitely more cats. When I started this business, I certainly wasn’t sure of what the hell I was doing, but I was sure that I did not want to continue working as a bartender, or return to TV “news,” or, dear god, practice law. So, I kept on doing what I could, read business books, found myself business mentors, and, most importantly, helped clients as best I could. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing, but I knew what I didn’t want to do, so by avoiding that and focusing on what I knew…tah-dah! It kind of worked, and I learned more things, got more momentum and look at me now! *shrugs*

I am also sure that people who constantly question themselves, and worry that they’re not doing things “right” are never going to succeed because they are their own worst enemies. If you’re spending more time texting me to ask, “Is this going to work?,” instead of doing the work I assigned you, and making productive choices…where is that going to lead you? That’s why today’s hint, is Worry Less, Do More. The more you do, the more you’ll be able to do. Conversely, the more you worry, the more you’ll see everything that can go wrong. And where does that lead you?

We’re fifteen days into 31Ways2GetItStarted™!...and if nothing else, just keep it going. You’ve made it this far, why stop now? At the end of the day, the people who succeed aren’t the smartest, or sexiest or bravest. The people who succeed aren’t even the people who deserved it most. They’re just the ones who continually mustered their courage in the face of doubt, fear, despair, indifference and other obstacles, and kept trying. They didn’t ask, “Is this going to work?” because they knew that the answer is, and always will be: “Yes…if you make it work.”

So, get back to work! But if you need some help, email me @carlotazee@gmail.com!

My Bullet Points to the Graduates

Let's be honest: I don't have it in me to give any speeches right now, so bullet points are going to have to do. Also, I "missed" my law school graduation. I went to Graceland with my then-boyfriend, for what was supposed to be a delightful weekend of debauchery and BBQ...until he invited his mother along and not so much. On the other hand, Graceland was awesome. Made me proud to be an American.

So, Graduates, here's my two bullet points:

•  Make mistakes. 
•  Forgive yourself. 

Because, in a nutshell, if you don't mistakes--and learn from them--you won't learn anything from life, and you won't achieve anything, since you'll be so afraid of making a mistake that you'll do nothing. Or, even worse, you'll keep making the same mistake and end up trapped, wondering, "Wtf happened to my life?" That is not a sexy place to be in. Gets exhausting really fast.

True story: I've had the idea for this business since 1999, if not before. But at the time, I was living the "glamorous" lifestyle of TV news, making bank...couldn't give that up, right? Then, I went to law school, got into a lot of debt, and some other first world mishigas happened before I finally got the courage to start this business.
And here's the moral of that story: had I not gone to law school, but instead started this business in 2004...it would have been horrible. Oh, it would have been atrocious. I had never failed at anything at that time in my life, so I had no true understanding of what clients needed to hear from a coach. My "advice" would have made clients sucker punch me: "Oh, you got fired...gawd, you must suck, who gets fired...ow!"

Instead, starting this business after law school, after I had learned humility the hardest way, means that now when my clients confess their fears, their heartaches, their deepest, darkest secrets to me...1) I've heard it all before and 2) I know exactly where they're coming from. And that's why I can help people! (Though invariably the clients are somewhat disappointed that I'm not shocked, shocked and outraged.)

Which leads me to point two: forgive yourself. You've read my blog, you've seen my pictures: I'm not crunchy. If anything, I'm the anti-crunchy. But learning to forgive yourself for your mistakes, your bad choices, your fears, and your pain is not about being crunchy...it's not even an option. It's about understanding that you're not the worst person ever, that you don't deserve to be miserable so how about you stop constantly sabotaging yourself and go about creating some positive change in your life, goddammit, before I lose what's left of my mind?

Also, how could you be the worst person in the world? That status is reserved for the men who used to come into my bar when I was still bartending, and "flirt" with me, while drinking, I swear, Sex on the Beach, or some other super macho drink...and not tip. And cat-abusers. And chubby hetero boys who wear skinny jeans. So, trust me, you've got a lot of competition before you receive the "Worst Person in the World" tiara.

Therefore, in the meantime: why not live your life? Why not be grateful for the mistakes you made that led you here to this moment, and forgive yourself for the stuff you can't change? #justsayin'