Women who snap...

I'm a little crankier than usual today, for three reasons: 1) one of my attorneys--Oh, doesn't that sound glamorous?#itsnot--just told me he was going to be out of the office for the rest of the week, which goes completely against the laws of physics which clearly state that all attorneys are to be slaving, while I'm the one who gets to have fun; 2) I've been watching way, waaay too many episodes of "Snapped" http://www.oxygen.com/tvshows/snapped/    
(women losing their sh*t & doing dastardly deeds of murder...hold on, I have to get more popcorn and vodka and turn off the phone, so the Kitten and I can focus.); and crucially 3): what is it with clients who get all offended and outraged, outraged, when I suggest that they consider going into therapy, so they can work on resolving certain issues which are blocking them from achieving their fullest professional potential...?

When did trying to productively help people become such a dirty thing? Must have missed that memo. I don't understand how my desire to help you find a professional to work through some crucial moments of your life, to resolve some negative programming of your childhood... means that I think less of you. Wouldn't it necessarily mean I think even more of you, because I believe you could achieve so much more, if you would simply stop sabotaging yourself because perhaps when you were a kid, your father routinely made you feel disgusting and unworthy of love? This is what makes me even crankier than watching a spoiled suburban brat "mastermind" (#snort) the murder of her far-too-generous mom (Taylor Marks, "Snapped" Season 8), this insanity ! When I'm trying to help you, and you act like I'm the a$$hole. Oh.

Because here's the point: a lot of people are in a lot of pain. Pain stemming from their childhoods, their relationship with the parents, their families, themselves. Pain that can be (temporarily) medicated, but otherwise, never goes away. Right, read that sentence again: it never goes away. Not unless you take action and commit to being honest with yourself, and forgiving yourself and all of that incredibly important, incredibly difficult happy horseshit.

So, riddle me this: if you're going to be in pain anyway...why wouldn't you choose to make that pain "useful," by seeking help from a trained professional who can attempt to guide you to some self-knowledge? All together now: because we don't want to confront the pain! Who would? I get that, but newsflash: you are anyway! Even when you're medicating, or ignoring, or blocking, you're still confronting the pain. Making all of your life choices in opposition to the great unmentionable kind of makes the unmentionable the one in charge, and not you...si? Si.

So,yes: I am cranky. Cranky because people think there's some magical solution to being happy...invariably the same people who presume I have no idea how horrendous their lives are since mine has clearly always been glorious. #sigh

I sense another "Snapped" marathon coming on (#goodtimes), but perhaps someone will read this rant and think,"...oh, wait: so maybe she means that eventually, through therapy and self-awareness and courage...the pain really does go away?"

Want to continue this rant, or watch some "Snapped" episodes with me? Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com!

A few days ago, a comedian I follow on Twitter, sent out a Tweet which read something like this: "Yoga, therapy & I still wake up in the am, hating myself." Whoa. It was such a raw note, it stayed with me. Especially since, if one looks at her impressive resume and talent, one would think, "Hey, you really have it made." Well, yes and no. If you hate yourself, it's hard to ever really enjoy anything. Kind of a conversation stopper.

So, it got me thinking. This being Independence Day...wouldn't it be great if we all declared our independence from the sh*t which weighs us down, and wastes our time? Declared independence from the haters, from wanting to be perfect, from caring about what other people think, from being unhappy. Declared our independence and then started, slowly but surely, changing the negative patterns which continue to hold us hostage.

It's so odd, Americans are obsessed with happiness, with being happy, and as a whole, dislike and are frightened by public airing of unhappiness. Conversely, people who are happy are looked upon as stupid or naive or unaware. People who are happy have to justify themselves. Really? I have to convince you that it's fine for me to be happy? Shut up. Here's a better idea: why don't you make the same choice that I did? The choice to be happy. (Dammit.)  And start doing the things that matter to you, and stop doing the shit which just wastes your time....and then wastes my time, when you bitch to me, again, about your job/relationship/weight blah blah blah.

It's the Fourth of July: go out and have some fun! Go out and be happy, dammit! But maybe also take some time to think about, what things in your life you should be declaring your independence from...

And then, let me know either in the comments section, or shoot me an email@ carlotazee@gmail.com!