On Maturity

If you’re looking for a job, or trying to make a career-transition, I need you to write this down—not on your hand, preferably—and commit it to memory: you are selling yourself. You’re selling your experience, your education, your connections…but you’re also selling a more “emotional” type of value: your common-sense, your ability to present yourself as a professional adult, you’re emotional intelligence. Before you start rolling your eyes, and think about checking the new video-of-the-day on youporn, just consider this: human resources people are not stupid. They’re also not cold-blooded. They simply must gather as much information about a prospective candidate as possible to ensure that if they hire said person, that person won’t shame them![1]

I’m kidding, but not really: if a company hires you, and spends all that time and money to train you and give you benefits etc.,...you immediately represent the company. You are part of the company’s public profile, for good or bad. So, if you apply for a job in a conservative field like banking, but your very public Facebook page shows you as “liking” Oh, I don’t know, “celebrate national go to work drunk day” or “DR Gurls Like it in the Can,” you can start to see the prospective interviewer get all shifty-eyed.  If, for example, you have a Facebook status reading, “went to work commando, cuz I picked up the bartender last night…” A) Seriously? And B) Oh, hell yeah, you did![2]

I for example, tend to date very pretty boys who aren’t necessarily the brightest in their own neck tattoos. (That is my cross to bear.) However, when I go to business events, I leave them at home, playing Gears of War 3. I don’t shame myself. (Or at least, I can do bad all by myself; I don’t need any help.)

This should be a general maxim for you during your job-hunt: think about your actions from the POV of a potential employer. Does your LinkedIn profile clearly and intelligently describe your accomplishments, skills and—crucially—what type of jobs you are looking for? Human Resources professionals have no time or inclination to read your mind. They are not there to ask the Delphic Oracle on your behalf to divine your perfect job: that is your responsibility. Enunciate.  Don’t give me that look: there’s people out there posting on various LinkedIn groups: “I have a 3.8 GPA and I need a job.” Right: doing what? Where are you located?  What have you done so far?  What can you offer besides 1) your ability to be annoying and 2) your talent for taking tests? [3] 

So, don’t make people guess: ADVERTISE your practical, relevant business skills and experience—in a mature, professional way—on LinkedIn, Facebook, and etc .[4]. Because the very manner in which you choose to advertise your skills will speak volumes as to why, or why not, a potential employer should call you in for an interview.

Let’s face it: you can have the most fantastic  resume in these United States, but if your cover letter is dotted with grammatical errors, or if Googling your name will bring up an out-of-control website, or some photos that instantly raise red flags due to their illegal-as-defined-by-the-DEA content, forget it[5].  HR people use the same Interwebs as you and I.

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[1]  That sounds like something my pop would say to me when I was 8 and behaving even more obnoxiously than usual. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: being an adored only child/child-actor was a-w-e-s-o-m-e!

[2] You obviously had a fantastic night: up-top!

[3] I shouldn’t be unpleasant; they’re probably history majors, bless their debt-ridden hearts. I was a history major and was so super excited to be unleashed onto the world, not understanding that, at the time of my graduation, even a hooker had technically more real-world skills than me.

[4] I would say Myspace, but is anyone within the continental United States even on Myspace anymore? I’m pretty sure one of my cats has a Myspace page, but she hardly ever updates it.

[5] But do feel free to send me links to said blog/photos: carlotazee@gmail.com.

Doin' What Comes Naturally!

When working with unemployed clients—whether they’re recent grads, or people with established resumes—one thing I’m obsessed with, is helping them start to see themselves differently. I help them start to consider how they're going to market themselves. Because, let’s face it, the economy is brutal; it’s like living inside a 3-D episode of “Shark Week.” I have clients who, in a functioning economy, would be profiled lovingly on some CNBC show celebrating garish, obscene wealth and why it makes people happy. (Discuss.) Instead: they’re “consulting.” (*cough cough*)

Eventually, we’ll probably all end up bartering goods for services and growing vegetables on a commune in Montana… but in the meantime, the bills are still due and  it’s crucial to see yourself from a potential employers’ POV: why should someone hire you? What “value” do you offer? I’m using the term” value” only insofar as it relates to a paycheck, by the way. What knowledge, in the sense of relevant and up-to-date skills, industry experience, and rain-making connections do you bring? Why would it be worth an employer’s time and money to hire you, and thus have to invest company resources in you? What return-on-invest can an employer hope to reap from your employment? The focus here being your concrete skills, not your grades or degree.

How do you figure out what your professional value is? Think back on your professional career, or when you were in school; think about your internships, volunteer positions, the odd-jobs you held: what were you good at? When did you excel? Were you talented at getting information?  Analysis? Writing? Crunching numbers? Are you detail-oriented, or a big-picture type of person? Are you good with people, or did they keep you locked away from humanity? The more specific your answers are, the easier it will be for you to envision a good professional match.

For example: when I was brainstorming my business, I kept thinking of the period when I had been happiest in my previous career in TV news: deadlines. (Because, unfortunately, it does not appear that anyone will pay 

me for my ability to scream and throw phones at incompetent TV writers. Alas.) I absolutely loved it when I had to get results under tremendous pressure. When the clock was ticking, and I had to use all my skills—researching, writing, interviewing, analyzing, for example—to problem solve and make air. Kind of like what I do now with clients, except without this…http://youtu.be/WrpaCOb_BGk

Despite all efforts to the contrary, August has arrived. August, the dog days of summer, when it’s time for students to start thinking about going back to school. Oh, the poor dears. (Still, it beats working, right?) So, with the thought of college and keggers looming, I’m just going to go out on a limb here and give college students some free advice: N-E-T-O-W-O-R-K! Network to gain contacts, who will help you gain access to the jobs you are interested in. Network to gain entry to internships and part-time jobs at which you will have the opportunity to learn something about your chosen field, and what skills/experience they require. Network to gain said skills and experience.

Your prestigious school is lovely, good grades never hurt, but if you would like to graduate and not have to move back in with your parents (who, let’s be frank, kinda suck as roommates); if you would actually like to have a chance to use your degree, you absolutely, without fail, must network your path to employment. Some of you are rolling your eyes at me, because um, Carlota, what’s this fancy degree I’m about to get…chicken liver?

Listen, I love my purty Wellesley College degree too, and it’s framed, and it never fails to impress the super whenever he comes over to 1) fix stuff and 2) try to set me up with a nice Colombian friend of his and yet: if I don’t network, and more importantly, demonstrate to potential clients why it is worth their time to hire me and give me their hard-earned money, that degree ain’t paying the rent. (Same with the law degree, by the way: fancy, quite large, tends to impress my dates… but  unless I can use it as a means to differentiate myself to clients, and demonstrate my value…well, then it’s just a very large framed piece of paper.) Some of you are also thinking, um, weren’t you a history major, AKA unemployable? You are correct, son…and I got my first job at NBC News in Moscow, Russia because of luck, timing and networking. That was way back in the ‘90s, when the job market—even in Mother Russia, fer Chrissake—was cooking.  NBC hired me, gave me the keys to the office and started throwing money at me. (True story: my neighbors, in my slum Moscow neighborhood, were pretty sure my boyfriend and I were members of the Mob. They gave us a very wide berth. Ahh, good times. I could have probably ended up running some miscellaneous republic of the Former Soviet Union, had I just been more focused.)

Today…well, not so much. Today, you must think from the POV of a potential employer: you just graduated college. So if you are hired, the employer has to spend time and money (valuable company resources!) training you to make you profitable to the company. Now: why is the employer going to do that? Because you went to her alma mater? In an economy that’s creating jobs like popcorn, perhaps…in this one? Um.

But: what if you could demonstrate to that employer, not only did you attend, for example, her alma mater, but you held relevant internships and summer jobs, you gained relevant, cutting-edge skills, and you bring with you contacts that can add profitability to the business? That’s a lot of work, right? Right! But you can do this. You can start to network, and to view internships and summer and part-time jobs all as ways to gain further value and profitability in whatever field you are interested in. You can do this…and you must. You went to college, I presume, to broaden your mind, and gain the educational tools necessary to benefit your entire life, right? Right. (You also went to hit it, I know, I know, but let’s stay on message here.)

 I fell into TV news when it was still worth the network’s while to train me in the daily logistics of putting news on the air; the value I added was fluency in Russian, as well as a deep understanding of the country, its culture, history and politics.

Today, that value wouldn’t be enough. I was very lucky, determined, hard-working, ambitious…but lucky. Today, you have to make your own luck.

(P.S.: you can do this!)

Listening to WNYC this am (I'm sure that some people instantly stopped reading after "WNYC"...ha!), and  Brian Lehrer covered the infuriating practice of employment ads making it clear that the unemployed will not be considered for positions. The host asked journalist Catherine Rampbell, who has been covering this story for the New York Times, if, when she interviewed HR people, she wasn't tempted to ask if their actions weren't, in some way, unpatriotic. Which, given the state of the country, is an interesting point. How is it helping our country to have all these people unemployed, who otherwise could be contributing to their communities, etc.?
But Catherine Rampbell had a very valid reply: when companies post ads saying only the currently-employed will be considered, they're not doing it to be cruel. From the companies' point of view, it makes perfect sense: they only want to hire people who will make them profitable. People who will be a good long-term investment for them. So, are they stereotyping all unemployed people? Of course. Are they arbitrarily assigning degrees of values to humans? Yep. But successful job-seekers will understand this, and plan their job hunt accordingly.
You must keep your skills current and market them accordingly to what the market wants, not what you think the market should want. This isn't really about you, it's about how are going to fill a need. (In a sense, it's like the difference between a small business and a hobby: a hobby is about what the owner wants, a business is about what the client needs.) You went to a prestigious college or university? Fantastic: use all of those alumni connections to find out about opportunities and get in the door...but then you'll have to have something tangible to sell, besides the fact of your graduation.
You know, and I know, that you have fundamental, intrinsic value simply because you are a unique human being. If necessary, write that down on a post-it note and put it above your desk, next to a great photo of yourself. Look at that whenever you start to feel down. You're fantastic and you deserve a great job...so, how are you going to demonstrate all the value you bring to the table and get that job?
Job-hunting is about what you, and all your skills, your background, your experience and your connections will add to any particular business. And that's nothing personal, it's just business. That seems a little cold-blooded, right? Maybe, but once you understand it... you can make it work for you.
Here's a link to the WNYC piece: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/bl/2011/aug/01/unemployed-need-not-apply/