This.

Rescuing People

Oh, I know. Some of you wonderful kids are giving me That Look, feeling unloved, rolling your eyes, thinking, "Whatever, Carlota, like I don't even care, I was just reading your blog as a favor, gawd! Like TMZ is where I get all my news anyway!" Aww, baby don't be like that, you know I adore you. I have indeed been remiss about my ranting um blogging (#redundant), but that's only because in this business I give clients 100% and giving people 100% takes time.

Some coaches just want to put you through your paces, and get you out the door as they count your money...I'm not like that. Anything good that happens from my coaching happens because of the relationship you and I will create. I know that in order to achieve your highest potential, you need a coach who will be there for you when you're personal life isn't working, or there's drama with your mama, or you just need to talk honestly with someone who cares. Because to be able to position yourself to achieve your potential, you need to get rid of all the issues getting in your way. So I'm in it for the long haul with my clients and that takes time.

Also, not gonna lie: I have this big workshop this Saturday (#hinthint) and I've been preparing for that. So, all in all, I've been wonderfully busy with wonderful people, and this is kind of how I feel right about now:

(despite, being significantly shorter...alas.) But I shouldn't take too much credit: a lot of my joy is due to the wonderful people I get to work with. Obviously, you start a business like this, to help others, because, deep down, you're the one who wants/needs the help. Like how when you rescue cats, you're the one getting rescued. Except the clients, usually, have a lot less cat hair. Usually.

All this to say: 1. I love you guys. 2. I'll be better about blogging. 3. Rescuing cats, and people, is always worth it.

And don't forget: you can still buy tickets, at the door, to my professional career building workshop this Saturday, June 29, 2013, at which I'll tell you everything you need to know about networking your way to your dream career! (Didn't go to IU? No worries, I still think you're cool as sh*t!) http://www.eventbrite.com/event/6762451675/estw 

Email me @ carlotazee@gmail.com, with any questions, concerns, rants, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation!

xo
C.

That's a Shame

I'm kind of tardy to the party on this: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/06/nyu-professor-immediately-regrets-fat-shaming.html

 

Bleah. No me gusta. So many reasons I'm against using shame as some kind of "leverage" or inducer to get people to change their habits (#goodluckwiththat). Reasons such as, oh, how about: It doesn't work. It makes people feel like crap about themselves and oh yes, did I mention that, IT DOESN'T WORK!

Also: Who says non-fat people are any better at motivation and discipline? Clearly, some are, some aren't. And, news-flash, some people are highly disciplined AT TIMES and at other times can devour an entire box of Thin Mint cookies. (Not like that's a bad thing.) True story: I personally dated a very toned and trim PhD candidate who, despite his enviable physique, could not dial down the crazy long enough to convince his advisers that he knew what the hell he was doing and that his dissertation should, finally, get approved.

And, as a recovering-anorexic who later tipped the scales at 172 lbs., I think it's pretty obvious that obnoxious tweets like this reflect more about the psyche of the person tweeting, than add anything useful to our national self-destructive obsession with body image AKA hating ourselves. Which is another thing, I don't roll with, as the kids say.

One wonders if the NYU professor was primarily motivated to tweet due to his desire to keep the doctorate within an "exclusive" club of people who were thin, like him, and therefore...desirable? Something about keeping out rabble...?

Who knows? How many of us, professors or not, really know what the hell kind of mishigas is germinating within our psyches at any given time? Which is why, sometimes, you need to step away from social media and take a walk and realize that many people on this planet, NOT JUST YOU, are doing the best they can. On any given day. You're not the only person around, who had a less-than-sterling childhood, so relax and have a little empathy for the rest of us. And before you try "shaming" anyone else, understand that when you share this stupidity with the world, the only person you're truly shaming is, of course, yourself.

All this public shaming of children, for example, by their parents just makes me think that those parents have a great deal of resentment towards their kids. What did they think having kids would be? Kids are crazy. And, I say that with all the love in the world. They're violent, and cranky and melodramatic and tell boring jokes; they have atrocious taste in music and TV shows, and they're horrible conversationalists....and those are the fun kids. (But yes, indeed: the children are our future.) I can't be the only person who worries that all of these shamed and humiliated children are going to grow up to be a new generation of imaginative, self-loathing perverts, can I? Since, last time I checked, internalized shame and self-hatred don't usually turn out all that great...right, Ted Bundy?

If you want shame, hire a dominatrix. (Or, borrow one of my cats.) However, if you want some constructive, fun and highly useful help, email me @carlota@carlotaworldwide.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide C

Besos,

C.

Cruel Summer

Just a "gentle" reminder: If you are currently in the (on-going) process of networking to change or improve your career, you really need to stop procrastinating/whining/crying/ and get started on that TODAY. Because July 4th is right around the corner. Which means that many, if not most, of the people you need to connect with, are soon going to be leaving for vacation, or at least will be unavailable for those informational meetings which can lead to real opportunities. Think about it: When was the last time you wanted to interrupt your vacation, or even stay-cation, or even just getting drunk at 3pm in the afternoon on the sofa (#goodtimes), to help someone else network? Yeah, that would be "never gonna happen, forget it."

Which means that you'll have to re-contact them in the fall, since these people probably won't remember who you are and what you wanted. And then you, dear Jebus, have to start the process ALL over again and somehow attempt to recapture your momentum. Which means if you don't get those emails and calls out TODAY, it could very well be the middle of September and you're still stuck at a job you, to put it mildly, dislike. Not much happy happy joy joy...right? Instead, how about you save both me and you the agony and heartbreak and general tsoursis and DO IT TODAY!
 
Want some help in getting started on this process, or finding the dedication to staying committed to yourself and your goals? Email me @ carlota@carlotaworldwide.com and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation! (That way in September, you can be the smug bastard who enjoys going to work as your friends bitch & moan.#winwin)
 
xo
C. 

You Say ‘Opportunistic,’ Like it’s a Bad Thing

That thought came to me recently, as I was trolling through one of the Facebook pages devoted to my college, Wellesley. A recent graduate was looking for professional advice on how to approach an older person in her industry whom she suspected could be an excellent mentor, but she was leery of appearing, in her own words, "opportunistic." Whoa now. When did opportunism become such a bad thing? I must have missed that memo. I honestly believe that opportunism is one of those words that some people use to make women feel bad about being ambitious. Those people are going to have to try a whole lot harder with me.

I mean, if you think networking, researching and all the hard work that goes into creating the (professional) opportunities you need to succeed are bad, well, I suppose you can stay in your job that you probably loathe but took out of fear. *waving* I’ll miss you. (#noiwont). Because listen: I have six-figures of law school debt, a small business to run and two cats who refuse to work. I enjoy eating every day. I’d rather spend this Christmas in Thailand than Queens. I’ve been rich and I’ve been broke as a joke, and last time I checked, rich was better. 

Also, as a feminist and a humanist, I personally want to live in a world wherein every single person has the opportunities they need to educate themselves and ultimately achieve their fullest potential. That’s my fantasy; humor me. Humor me with the idea of a world wherein all people are well-educated, and well-read and bored by the moronic actions of Kim Kardashian's vagina, but instead wake up in the morning, excited to be the change they want in the world. Some of you are reading this thinking, “Okay, hippie, good luck with that.” Thank you! Are there even hippies left, or are they all making their own craft beer in Brooklyn, and naming their (white) children "Havana" and baking vegan biscuits for their dogs. That's a shame.

No,  I’m just a humanist. I want everyone to have the same opportunities to achieve. So you can call me an opportunist, but I prefer to think of it as a refusal to accept your "No," as my personal final answer.

I’ve never understood people who use "opportunist"in a derogatory manner. Who doesn’t want the opportunity to live your truest, most passionate life on a daily basis? Listen, I spent years working in network news, hating myself for having to cut teases of water-skiing squirrels, as “complex” personalities flubbed their live-shots and threw things at me. Between that repressed memory experience and living in Russia and surviving law school, and being engaged twice, I feel like I’m done my time in hell, thanks.  Now I’d like to use my time left on this planet to help people live their fullest, most authentic lives. So if that makes me an opportunist, i.e. a human begin determined to help you figure out your potential and then create a realistic strategy to bring that potential to fruition…? Well, no sweat, America. Just make sure the check clears. 

Want some real help to figure out how to create the opportunities you need? Of course you do, Sunshine! Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation. 

Besos,

C.

You Gotta Work. Which Sucks. Sorry! #notsorry

Sorry to be so un-sexy and old-fashioned by stressing the benefits of hard work and research, but if you're thinking about changing your professional opportunities, the New York Public Library's online research guides should be your ground zero.http://www.nypl.org/locations/tid/65/research_guides
 
These online guides are 100% and you can access them at home. In bed. You can do a search say, in one of their various online guides industries to find companies and jobs you might be interested in, then start narrowing down that list by location. Take that list and start researching those companies: look for articles written by and about them, their social media footprint (are they on Twitter/LinkedIn/Pinterest/Facebook/Tumble? If so, invest some serious time in reading their posts and seeing what issues they're interested in. Find out who's posting and Google them. Where did they go to school, what issues are they interested in. Seek out connections. Connections =opportunities for you to get your foot in the door.), their personality and their brand. Then, you can start checking for connections: do they have any alumni from your college, grad school, even high school? If so, bingo, you have a way in. Now you can start crafting an introductory email based on your shared connection, as you also tweak your LinkedIn profile & resume to reflect that company's values.

Some of you are popping your gum and rolling your eyes like a teenager being told she isn't leaving the house dressed, or undressed like that, by God, and thinking, "Um, Carlota? Like that sounds like a lot of work." You are correct, my fine-feathered friend. But you know what's even more work: working at a job you hate. BOOM!

Want some more excellent advice? Oh of course you do. Email me @carlotazee@gmail.com and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta" for a free consultation!

Dead Letters

Here's what I don't like about blindly sending off resumes and cover letters to job postings online: ...who says anyone is going to read all your hard work? At this point, you'd have more luck as a boy posting on the 'Men Seeking Women' section of Craigslist. (You'd definitely have more luck as a naked female maid seeking um "watchful" employment. Or, so I hear. What would I know about Craigslist and naked women and maids...says I, looking around my clean hovel. Which, for the record I cleaned myself. Wearing dirty sweatpants. #sexy) But, I digest.

I mean, all that work to create a cover letter and resume and then you're going to send it off to what is, essentially, a dead-letter box. Who's going to read it? I say this as someone who worked for two separate networks which had stated company policy of posting jobs online, only AFTER they had been filled internally. The job listings were posted online strictly for legal purposes. I'm not going to list said networks for my own legal purposes, namely, I have no time, today, to be sued. But if at least two companies do that hot mess, you can bet that many other companies do too, which means: Don't waste your time!

I hear you rolling your eyes and preparing to whine at me, "But Carlota, I need a job, since living with my parents is a fate worse than death for all involved." True. So, how do I think you should get this job? Fine, you can start by looking online to find jobs and hiring companies, to see, essentially, what could be out there, then, when you have a couple of places and positions you're interested in, start seeking out the connections to the jobs and companies you're interested in. These connections are the reasons your resumes will actually read. These connections will act as your advocates since they know how the game is played.

To find these connections, ask EVERYONE you know. Yes, go through your Facebook friends--you use those people for everything else, from free drinks to sex, why not give them the benefit of the doubt and try to actually use that network for something positive? Well, something else positive. Also check out Facebook groups of your college and your high school alumni network. My college, Wellesley (Number one women's college in the nation, thanks for asking!), for example, has Facebook pages devoted to alumni by region, by career and a wide range of personal interests, and I'm sure yours does as well. Have you searched out those those pages, and clicked like and seen what issues are being discussed, and who might know of jobs, and might themselves be hiring? Get to work, hippie.

If you're a recent graduate--within say, the past 1-2 years, you should make some time to visit your alumni office, since they might give you some free counseling; they'll probably have a discount or even give you a free (trial) membership in the alumni association, and that's another great place to look for connections to the companies you're interested in. And when I say, "graduate," I mean both undergrad and grad school. If nothing else, reach out to older alumni for informational meetings. Research the alum in question as well as her company--this is where The Google, as senior citizens call it, is very helpful, and while you should bring along a copy of your resume, don't offer it unless specifically asked. People do love to talk about themselves, and if you have a couple of smart questions, well, young person--Oh my god, how I loathe being old!--you will probably go far. You'll go even farther if you at least offer to pay for the coffee you invited your fellow alumni out to drink. Also, join LinkedIn groups, get on alumni mailing lists and never EVER assume you know whom anyone knows, or what value they bring.

Some of you are audibly gagging and thinking, "I loathed everyone in my high school and college and I don't want to spend one damn minute being nice to those people." Listen, hippie: I didn't even go to my damn law school graduation. I was at Graceland with my boyfriend and his mother. (Don't ask. Long story. Such a mistake. But The King's collection of jumpsuits--because apparently, people in the 1970s were too busy for buttons--almost made up for all the hot sex I WAS NOT HAVING, thanks. Almost.) My college graduation was me wearing a garbage bag over my gown, due to the pouring rain, as Nora Ephron nattered on about how hard it was to date or make crap chick flicks or whatever. I wasn't listening. I had to go to that one because my parents were paying. My point being: Why'd you buy the diploma if you're not going to use the perks? That's kind of like going out on a date with Idris Elba and then, as he starts to undress you with his teeth, you say, "Oh wait, I have to go home and watch old episodes of 'Dr. Who.'" Says no woman EVER!

You paid the money, take the ride: All of those connections are waiting to help you and you're applying to dead-letter boxes online? Seriously? Are you trying to irritate me? Listen, I can irritate myself; I'm a native New Yorker. I'm always vaguely furious about something or other. (Except yesterday when I ran into one of my various and miscellaneous ex-mens and he was with a chick who was old, chubby and never gonna be hot. Ahh, suddenly, I was all sweetness and light.)

On that note, if you want a job, and you're not using all of the connections I listed, and letting those connections bring you to more connections. and more connections and eventually a great job..what's the connection? I don't get it. But if you want to get it--and I know you do--email me @carlotazee@gmail.com, and like my Facebook page, "Carlotaworldwide Creativity Yenta," for a free consultation. I promise to be in a wonderful mood. Dammit.